That time of year

I am in the thick of finals right now, but I am going to Colorado from like January 9th to the 16th or something like that. I know that Catbean and company are going. Its going to be a good trip. 'Bunch of guys hangin' out, bonding, having some beers, talking about our feelings and football. It's going to be good. I have got a line picked out that keeps me awake at night. It's just to skiers right of Little Baby Ruth and Baby Ruth. I call it Grandma Ruth. Shits goin' down.

Breaking Cousin News

Cousin Maggie is engaged.

Hopefully this will increase the number of cousin weddings that I can't go to to 3. What happened to you cousin weddings? you used to be cool.

Stick Figures in Peril

I think my brother has a clone from New Zealand who has a show on HBO


















And I've found this to be amusing today if you're bored:

http://flickr.com/groups/stickfiguresinperil/pool/

Rubb, how is school going? Have you decided what your topic of study will be? Are you praying on any nubile Michigan moisties? Africa or Asia summer 2009?

New Year's Resolution Part 2

This is the list I've compiled so far(number of pages in parenthesis), I think I have a good mix of tough reads, easy reads, and a few re-reads:

1. Walden by Thoreau (336)

2. Civil Disobedience by Thoreau(384)

3. The call of the wild by London(160)

4. The Sea Wolf by London (244)

5. Meditations of John Muir by John Muir(144)

6. Stickeen by John Muir (84)

7. In Our Time by Hemingway(160)

8. The Naked and the Dead by Mailer(736)

9. Good Dog, Stay by Quindlen(96)

10. The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow(608)

11. Blood Meridian by McCarthy (337)

12. Catch 22 by Heller (464)

13. Anti-Christ by Moses(396)

14. Neuromancer by Gibson (288)

15. Ragtime by Doctorow(288)

16. Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard (163)

17. A Piece of Blue Sky: L. Ron Exposed by Atack, Miller (428)

18. Hatchet by Paulsen (one in series of 5) (192)

19. Zan-Gah by Shickman(160)

20. Outlander by Gabaldon(850)

21. Wrinkle in Time by L'Engle (224)

22. A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bryson(560)

23. Quartzsite Trip by Hogon(322)

24. The Testament of Gideon Mack by Robertson (400)

25. The God Delusion by Dawkins (416)

26. White Noise by DeLillo(336)

27. The Waste Land by TS Eliot(120)

28. As I Lay Dying by Faulkner(267)

29. Secret Agent by Conrad (197)

30. The Godfather by Puzo (496)

31. The Sicilian by Puzo(416)

32. The Godfather Returns by Puzo (648)

33. The Last Don by Puzo(502)

34. Jonathon Livingston Seagull by Bach (112)

35. Illusions by Bach(192)

36. There’s No Such Place as Faraway by Bach(48)

37. Jitterbug Perfume by Robbins(352)

38. Another Roadside Attraction by Robbins(352)

39. Galapagos by Vonnegut(336)

40. God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian by Vonnegut (80)

41. Less than Zero by Ellis(208)

42. Thus spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche(352)

43. A Spot of Bother by Haddon(354)

44. 100 Years of Solitude by Marquez (448)

45. Hell’s Angels by Thompson(273)

46. The Idiot by Dostoevsky (608)

47. Anti-Christ by Nietzsche (91)

48. The Selfish Gene by Dawkins (360)

49. A Brief History of Time by Hawking (224)

50. Blaming the Brain by Valenstein (292)

51. Breaking the Spell by Dennett (464)

52. Tuva or Bust! By Feyman (256)

53. Steppenwolf by Hesse (224)

54. Laughing Boy by La Farge (208)

55. Arrow of God by Achebe (230)

56. No Longer at Ease by Achebe (194)

57. Electric Kool Aid Acid Test by Wolfe (416)

58. The Reivers by Faulkner (320)

59. Harvest Poems by Sandburg (128)

60. Captain Pamphile by Dumas (200)

61. Count of Monte Cristo by Dumas (634)

62. Lonesome Traveler by Kerouac (192)

63. Into the Forest by Hegland (241)

64. Population Bomb by Ehrlich (201)

65. Monkey Wrench by Levi (176)

66. The Teachings of Buddha (250)

67. Holy Bible (803)

68. The Koran (528)

69. Ficciones by Borges (176)

70. Panic Rising by Nunn (232)

New Years Resolution

I've decided that my new years resolution is to try and read 100 books in a year. I actually tried this about 3 years ago and only got to 70 before I got burnt out. So anywho I need some book suggestions and I'm open to all genres.

Tit for...

Got a tat on my right shoulder-ish. It's the numbers 930 in block letters and mushed together. The numbers signify Dee and Sean's shared birthday: September Thirty.

The tat was inked in San Diego at a place called Church of Steel by a portly German named Marcel, with a mixed rockabilly/goth style. While I was there another artist got a call, and the secretary said "Hey, remember that dude whose face you tattooed yesterday? Well, he's coming in and he's pissed!" I missed the confrontation unfortunately.

Adding to the experience, I saw a screaming load of girls crowded around these guys.

Happy Halloween

Thanks for the invite

Hi everybody

Dear Rob

Dear Rob-

Can you send our cousin Bryan an invite or email or something that tells him how to get back on the cousin blog. He just upgraded his Caleco to a real computer and can now access that new thing called the interweb. You may want to enclose explicit directions and possibly colored drawings to assist him (he also likes pop up books). I know you're busy but if you have the time help a cousin out. Thanks much.

Sincerely,
Cousin Matt

You'v e just been Nard-Dogged

Clearly I love some movies that the cuzzins hate. But do I hate movies that the cuzzins love? Let’s see…

Some movies I really hate, off the top of my head:
Armageddon
Planet of the Apes (new version)
Cruel Intentions
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Patch Adams
Instinct
Roadhouse (not!)
Fracture
Fahrenheit 9/11
Anything involving Dane Cooke in any capacity whatsoever (ditto Matthew Lillard)
Nacho Libre
Fantastic Four

Some recent movies that I found really disappointing:
Apocalypto
Crash
Blood Diamond
Shrek
Super Troopers

Next Friday I head for San Diego. I will stay in a hostel and, perhaps, be burned to death by the California fires. Pray for me. Pray for Mojo.

After some thought, I've decided that my favorite movie in the last while has got to be Children of Men.

Adobe Illustrator kicks ass.

So do the BoSox. Eat it Denver.

The Awesome Power of Clams

For those of you you who need to throw up RIGHT NOW comes the miracle invention that will change the drinking world as we know it. In a breakthrough concept, Budweiser has combined the awesome power of Clamato with a beer once thought to be at its peak. Lets look at the timeline that led to this amazing creation.

2nd day of Creation: God invents water (key ingredient in Budweiser)
3rd day of Creation: God invents tomatoes as well as malts, hops, sugar, etc.
1876: Budweiser Lager Beer is born as the brainchild of Adolphus Busch and Eberhard Anheuser
1969: Walter Chell thinks to himself "You know what would make tomato juice better......mashed clams." Clamato is born.
2007: Anheuser-Busch combines Budweiser and Clamato for the super drink now known as Chelada.
2008: Greenhouse gases produced from Chelada vomit destroys the ozone. Life on this planet ceases to exist.

Cousin Sighting

I saw a cousin last night, and thought I'd share:

I was driving, Kyle was riding shotgun, and Matt was in the backseat. He had a laptop case with weed in it. As we pulled into a parking lot, our cat slid through the open window and escaped. Someone had left a holigram running in the parking lot, and Matt didn't realize it was fake. It was a woman dressed as a nurse and she was asking Matt what he thought about this kitty (motioning toward a holigram cat rubbing up against her leg). I can't see her front but I know she's a kitty porn video, and I'm laughing at the look on Matt's face cuz he still doesn't know its fake. Then I'm gripped with horror at the thought of there being kitty porn people nearby while our cat is missing.

The dream also included a hotel that could blast into outer space like a rocket, a suggestion from our friends that we meet up in Jersey for a wedding even though none of us have anything to do with "Jersey", Owen Wilson as a lifeguard at the pool I belong to (which is in an occupied zone, or maybe a green zone right near battle lines, I could watch bombs and planes and then go swimming), a bat belonging to Owen which I found laying in a bell, exhausted and perhaps wearing shorts, and which I returned to him, and a clarification of the term "Morty" as in "Show it to Morty and he'll show it to God."

Taliban Grace

Anyone drop like a fly at the marathon? Sounded brutal.

Lucy

Call that a depressing Personal Profile?

Underweight yet flabby MWM with terribly itchy eyes seeks like-minded MWM to commiserate over total lack of time to do anything but clean up after messy babies and do laundry once in awhile. No fatties.

Personal profile

SWM. Overweight. currently in the middle of midterms right now. Per Rubb's request has been listening to a ton of Toots on Pandora. Recommends RJD2 station for some chillout study music. Recommends repeating in mantra: there is no limit to how much information I can put in my brain. Best studying gets done when he goes to the library stacks where all of the old books are, he finds it inspiring. For those of you who care, is currently enjoying a cocktail of an anti-parasite medication, an anti-biotic medication, a pro-biotic medication to enhance naturally occurring bacteria, and Prilosec for stomach acid. All-in-all he still prefers gin. Believes Millennium Cousin award should go to Deekyle for their Youtube webpages, modern building pictures, and thousands of other electronic-savy contributions.

Rubb, I accidently left both of the Peru maps at your house. Do you have them? Can I have one? I will listen to your previously posted music selections.

happy birthday sean, etc.

today we celebrate the one year anniversary of sean becoming a person and dee having probably one of the stranger birthdays of her life. happy birthday sean and dee and almost kyle.

www.flickr.com/photos/seanmsmith

true story

the year was 2003. i was probably high. our chinese food had arrived with a small chinese food box full of awful pastries. The word COMPLIMENTARY was written on it in large letters. we had been having very minor problems with our neighbors, mainly them just banging on our wall when the music was too loud. there was only one logical solution.

so i pooped in the box. climbed up their wall and put the box full of pastries and poop on their balcony.

one member of this blog has the necessary skilles to repeat this experiment. climbing skills, neighbor problems, and experience pooping in a box.

that is all

Sean dancing...

...and his mom at the same age...

Moving beyond the previous post

If one were paying attention to the news lately one would notice that the media is reporting on an armed gunman running around Madison threatening to kill. This is, again, an example of there being nothing else to report on in Heartland, USA, and the media blowing it out of proportion. A depressed kid called a suicide helpline and threatened to kill himself this somehow turned into a Virginia tech-esque madman.
In other news my stomach is fucked up. It has been since Peru. I am constantly talking to doctors. All that we have come up with so far is that I can't drink alcohol, drink coffee, or eat anything that is not sawdust. For those of you who didn't know my habits before, they were as follows: binge on whiskey, binge on coffee, then over-eat Mexican food. This new diet strays from my intuition. I was fortunate enough, however, to take a chit in a large plastic container and spoon it into four tiny little vials. The procedure goes against everything that you have learned since you were an infant: Don't play in your own chit! Bryan would have puked just chiting into the larger cup.
My apartment is awesome. I put together a rocking chair, stained it, sanded an end-table, and stained it. There is something incredibly mind numbing about doing minor woodworking. I highly recommend it. Two other stress relieving techniques that I have found are listening to Milt Rosenberg of WGN radio and Pandora Radio while I shower. If you haven't tried Pandora you should now. Fall is coming!

420

Congrats to Kyle for the 420th post. Fuck yeah, getting stoned kicks ass!!!!!

Bits of Kyle

About a month ago our car was broken into while it was parked at the Detroit airport, just days before our move out to Boston. My CD collection was swiped, and the thieves were nice enough to scrape and bend the door and window frame before busting out the window. A nice Detroit-style “good bye” for us.

Ok all of you architecture junkies, what do you think of this building? I walk past it each day. I have mixed thoughts. Mostly “Bitchin!”, but also a little “Wahhh?”, and occasionally "Hmm, I'm strangely aroused."

We live next door to the most popular sandwich shop in Arlington, MA. The sandwiches are delicious and so is the convenience. It’s trouble.

My favorite new food is a whoopie pie. It treats me well.

Am I sweaty and stubbly enough for you?

Green Lake Chillin

BLOG SAVES BOY, BOY NO LONGER TALKS TO HIMSELF

Like a lunch-less portly fellow reaches for puddin'...
Like an AIDS patient scratching his splotchy skin...

I reach for the blog!

Viva el Tequila!

Alright, I'm finally settled down in Boston and I'm back in the blogging spirit.

Let's get this train a-rockin', cause blog come a-knockin'!

Errr...

Yeah!

Blog Salvation

First off, I'd like to congratulate Dee for her new job in her new city. I'd also like to offer congrats to Rob and Jake for taking the next step in their respective educational pursuits. Also to Kate for entering into her final year of school at DU and Molly for being the last cousin in high school. You guys are all smarter than I. Kyle I have no idea what you're doing but kudos for whatever it is, whoever you are. Maggie is also doing something very cool but I don't know if I'm supposed to tell anyone yet although Bryan knows so I'm sure everyone else does.

Anyway, the point of this post is that the blog is in miserable shape and I'm vowing to do my part to rescue it. I'm going to employ a three part plan:

Part 1: Begin with a new blog name to be unveiled later this week.
Part 2: Recruit as many cousins back to the blog with.......
Part 3: .....the promise of a very clever, possibly hilarious post.

So to anyone who may possibly still be reading this, the blog is back on and even if I have to do every post myself it will survive. It has to!

PS- Just so I don't get shit for omitting anyone. Congrats to Bryan and Adam for setting their respective wedding dates and securing future cousin parties. Yay to Jeremy for continuing to keep it real, assuming you still are. And a shout out to Kerry and Ryan for being fellow pot smoking parents.

I GOT A JOB!!!!

I wasn't going to apply for anything until next semester, but an opening came up at Boston University and I gave it a shot, so...I got a job! If the blog weren't in such disrepair, this might not be worth a post, but tough shit, you get to hear about how I got a job!!!!

This be the place: http://www.bu.edu/celop/

I'm gettin $60 an hour to teach a language I've spoken my whole life. Fuck yeah. This is why I don't moan about paying taxes.

On my way to campus I sat next to a guy who just got back from Iraq (Rimaldi) that day, still in his uniform and carrying his duffel bag. He was a Navy SEAL, and pretty high up in the ranks. He just had to talk - HAD TO - about all the weird shit he was going through, and all I could think about was that scene from the beginning of Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen goes nuts in the hotel room until he sees some blood. He was itching to get back already; I felt bad for him. My cousin's boyfriend is also back for a few weeks, but he's only been there since March and seemed much more well-adjusted. Hopefully his deployment won't last too much longer.

capitol peak

i seem to have started a slump with my poorly worded attempted praise of america. glad you enjoyed it matt. thought i'd nwo break it with some good old adventure.

jake and i climbed capitol peak yesterday. it's considered the most difficult 14er in colorado, and i must agree after spending 13 hours on it. it's hard to describe. there was probably 4 hours where a single mistake would likely mean death. i'm still rattled from it. while climbing it i asked myself repeatedly why i do these things, but afterwards i know. i believe life must be judged in retrospect, and sitting here in a leather chair enjoying a sandwich and the memory, i'm glad i was clinging to those rocks yesterday. this might be the last of this kind of madness for a while for me. might not.

i wrote a trip report for 14ers.com
http://www.14ers.com/php14ers/tripreport.php?trip=3525

how is everybody?

America the...

For many of the previous years I have declared myelf anti-America. I believed we were the center of a growing focus on external wealth and power, the stress capital of the world. And our stress and greed are contagious. We simply should not spend our lives working jobs we hate to buy shit we don;'need, and America's influence can only increase this trend throughout the world. Plus all the small reasons. The war on drugs. The questionable leadership. That we spend so much more on wars than health care. Thet we're arrogant as a country and as most individuals.

While all of these reasons are still present and problematic in my mind, for the first time in my alert life, I now consider myself proud to be an American. Peru was lacking something, something hard to really pinpoint, but something essential. Charisma, individuality, openness, opportunity, hope, and zest are all words that come to mind. The combination of all thse gives us some sort of radiance, a shine to our eyes and smile. The people there were just kind of beaten down and expressionless. It is possible that the presence of a Mcdonalds , once the symbol of our negative ifluence over the world, might actually brighten their faces a little. And there were no Mcdonalds where we were. Our reach is far more limited than I had imagined.

The simplicity of life in a small town with no televisions is a beautiful thing. It's something I had idealized. But the simplicity of life in a small town, with access to information and the understanding that you can leave and pursue something bigger if you wish to is far greater.

Peru2

Where were we...

Despite sicknesses from the other two travelers, one (Jake's friend) of which resulted in a return to the US and some time in the hospital (pollo loco), we did manage to get to that hike outside of cuzco. We traveled uphill along a lush river meadow to about 14,ooo feet, where we encountered a town that didn't even have a road within 5 miles of it. Their 'houses' were made of piles of rocks, the nice ones had roofs made of grass. They spoke Quecha, the language the country spoke before Columbus' "discovery", as did many of the small mountain town people we would later meet. After this difficult 15 mile hike, we got on a bus back to Cusco, which of course didnt have seats for us. It did, however, have a hog-tied goat, a bag of chickens, and a pig in a bag, attached to the luggage compartment (tied to the roof).

We left Cusco and spent a day in Lima. Lima has 8 million people, most of whom are very poor, but we found a cool kinda hippy disctrict. We walked along the beach for most of the morning, and had mystery meat sandwiches. As my cousin showered that afternoon, I wandered out of the hostel and met up with some peruvians and a swede, and within 5 minutes of walking out my door, was staring down the barrell of a cup full of peruvian tap water and san pedro, a psychadelic cactus with mescaline. The swede considered himself a shaman, and proceeded to tell me the way of things for the next several hours, and eventually gave me more san pedro, and a cryptic map to the world he insisted should be tattooed on my heart. He dropped a lot of wissdom, mostly about the power of love and the sun. I liked his phrase "soy un otro tu" (i am another you) quite a lot.

Huaraz was absolutely beautiful. Cool little mountain city. Nestled in the Cordillera Blanca mountain range, the hightest tropical ranger in the world, with a peak towering above it at about 22,000 feet. Found a nice hostel with a great view. Went to a soccer game, whose highlights included the swat team coming out to protect a player on the other team, and a man in the stands near me repeatedly attempting to light a home made celebratory bomb but being too drink to do so. Also sun burn. We then spent 3 days hiking by ourselves, which involved beautiful camp-sites, views of glacier capped mountains and bright green lakes, and making it to 17,000 feet, dominating colorado's highest mountains depsite being only a pass through to the next valley. It also involved repeated encounters with bulls, and a severe altitude induced panic while trying to sleep at 15,000 feet. It was among the worst I've ever felt, definitely the most home-sick.

We then spent some time enjoying Huaraz, and found a restaurant called chilli heaven which was the perfect antedote for bland peruvian food. We wandered into a climbing place at one point, trying to scout out another mountain journey, and walked out with our entire remaining 9 days booked with a 5 day trek up to 6000 meters (about 20,000 feet) that included another 18,000 foot mountain, and an additional 3 day training hike. I became quite depressed by the revelation that we would be spending the entire remainder of our vacation suffering up mountains, and we decided to skip the training hike in favor of a night of drinking where we discovered liquer de coca and drank an absurd amount of it. we also drank some coke based energy drinks, as we were apparently in the midst of some strange liquid coke binge. Also a day of rock climbing at a real cool sport, where I learned some skills that might later save my life, and a short day hike to another beautiful lake, where we fell asleep because it was after the night of drinking. Also considerable dreading turning to excitement over the summit journey.

Summit Journey:
Day 1, easy 4 mile hike up to base camp with mules carrying our shit. Turns out the guide is a big stoner. Decent weed. Base camp is above 14,000 feet, and has something like 50 other tents, yet every dingle person there was asleep by 7pm. Tocllaraju towers above us.
Day 2. Climb mt. Ishinca. 18,000 feet. Very very very hard. hardest thing i've ever done. leave at 4 am, 7 hours up hill, either carrying a bag of metal, or using it to climb. deep breaths stranglely unsatisfying. none of our equipment fit properly, and the metal spikes that attached to our shoes (crampons) were surprisingly difficult to maneuver. We made it though. The view from the top of the other glacier mountains made it almost worth it, but on the way down, hurting like hell and left behind, I decided I didn't want to climb the 6000 foot peak, it just didnt seem as fun as drinking more san pedro with my friends in huaraz. upon arriving to the bottom, and experiencing some heaven in the form of my feet dipped in the cold stream and an orange, eaten like an apple, I decided I might as well go for it.
Day 3. Even worse. Hike the incredible steep and rocky path up to high camp (17,000 feet). By far the biggest backpack I've ever carried, food, tent, sleeping bag, clothes, ski boots, ice axes, crampons, climbing shit... fuckin sucked. Decided again that I was going home, i just didnt have what it takes. Decided again that I might as well make a run at it. Needed to fix my mind though, replenish my strength reserves. Spent the next several horus sitting bymyself in my rented down turqous and pruple coat, melting bags and bags of snow, repeating to myself that I would make it, I would make it, I would not be deterred by exhuastion. Whirled myself into quite an excitement, and slept only about 2 hours that night. Felt ready.
Day 4. Up at 4, prepared to suffer, completely ready, composed, willful. We find a slow hiking rhythm in the dark, going so slow that you almost rest while walking. the slightest move, such as pulling up the harness, leaves you exhuasted for several minutes but you keep walking. I alternate between thinking of the bed, complete with naked kelly and feisty doggy that await me, and the idea that it is my swarn duty to push my little headlight spot on the snow up the mountain, while singing Tribe. Push it along, just push it along, all you gotta do is push it along... The sun rises, we're about half way there, and i'm starting to run out of energy, I can't eat, but I'm close. We keep pushing it along, and arrive at the last pitch, which gives Toclliaraju its "Difficult" Rating. over 60 degree angle for about 80 yards. We can hardly hear the guide's instructions for tying our harnesses into the rope over the howling wind, which scared my cousin like crazy, as he works in a climbing gym and understood just how many fundamental climbing rules we were breaking. I was just happy to be almost done. We climbed up the wall, clinging to the moutnain for some 15 minutes in the middle as the guide pulled up the rope we had just clmibed and set it up again near the top. My cousin had another big freak out after seeing the poor excuse for an anchor and nearly headed down 30 meters short of the summit. But we fucking made it. I kissed the snow at the top and nearly cried. cousin was deeply shaken, convinced we were lucky to be alive and going down would be even sketchier. incredible view. survive the down-hill, sometimes elated to be done, sometimes completely drained, struggling to take the next step. then we got to high camp, packed our shit, and put those fucking bags back on our baks, and I really didnt think i'd make it down. got left behind again, and kinda fell apart. we were basically jumping from boulder to boulder, down a steep hill, with 50 pounds on our backs and no energy, and I just couldnt do it. I fell about every 10 feet and struggled to get back up every time and wanted to cry. at some point a peruvian porter sees me and offers to help carry my bags, for free, because I clearly cannot. quite a blessing. I tell myself I earned it by going through hell and still trying to focus on enjoying the scenery. We sleep at base camp and I felt basically indifferent. didnt have the energy for emotion. I no longer hated looking at the mountain, became almost infatuated with staring at it, just thinking and feeling nothing.
day 5: back downhill, mules carry our shit, we smoke a bunch, and I say goodbye to the rural peru with aheavy heart. i wonder more about why I put myself through these sufferings, and have a good answer, but thats for another blog. I had (and still have) a very clear mind and increased confidence. That night I met a cute little columbian archeoligist and learned how to salsa dance...

(cant find cord for camera right now, more pics available soon)

Homeword bound

International heartthrobs brant and bubbrubb are stateward! Two pictures are rubb at 18000ft on Nevado Ishinka and myself at basecamp of imposing 19800ft Nevado Tocllraju in background climbed earlier that day. Rubb and I used up at least one of our 9 lives trying to climb it (I think I have two left). Peru is fantastic though I threw up for 8hours on the busride back to Lima. It is great to be back stateside I can't wait to see friends and family. Cousin olympics would and should be an annual event even though we are going to have to get increasingly more organized about it due to the everchanging demographic of The Clan. I am glad Kilgore and crafty are going on their hike now because it makes it easier to say no. I wish I could come but I need work, time out-of-tent, and Dunkin Donuts. I await your return to Chicago and am looking forward to coming to CBOT to learn as much as I can about Sopris Trading in the short time that I have left. If nothing else I can be the official panoramic mountainscape desktop digital picture provider for the website. Have a good time and I will pass on some words of advice from two southern mississippi missionaries that we met in Peru, try to look on the outdoors through the eyes of Jesus!

Thoughts

I've been having some real random shit pop into my head and I wanted to post some of it into the archives that are the Cuzzin Blog. So read it if you want or don't, I really don't care. Really, I don't.

Time Travel
I had this thought the other day: I think if you somehow managed to travel forward in time for a significant amount of years that when you arrived in the future you wouldn't last more than a week before you died. The reason is this; I think viruses and bacteria and such would have adapted and mutated over the years and you, being the time traveler, would not have had those years to build up a sufficient immunity to such things. So, my conclusion is that time travel, while very interesting, would not be worth the trip.

Life After Death
I was walking down the street the other day(what a cliche opening sentence!) when I crossed paths with a young woman pushing a older woman in a wheel chair as I was pushing my daughter in a stroller. I found it strangely ironic how you begin life by having your elders feed you, bathe you, change your diapers, and push your around in stroller only to finish life by having someone your younger do the same for you. The only difference is a stroller is now a wheel chair, gerber baby food is now an ensure milkshake, and pampers are now depends(what an apt and amusing name for a product).

Now I'm well aware that I'm not the first person to notice the irony here, but it brought me to this thought:
What if the reason we revert to a childlike state near the end of life is because we are preparing for some sort of rebirth. Maybe the reason we lose our memory at the end of our days is because we're not supposed to know that we lived a previous life.

This last thought made me wonder about the people who don't make it to the later stages in life, the ones who die young. Maybe the ones who die young are at the end of their life cycle. I've heard that children with terminal cancer have said they always new they were going to die and that they are normally more at peace with death than people much older.

Anyway I'd like to think on this much more.

New York
We're moving back to Chicago in a month and while I'll have some fond memories of my time here when I leave I won't ever look back. Some things about NYC that I won't miss: all the trash on the sidewalks, the subway, rats, the insane amount of chicken bones everywhere, street hoods, anyone from the city, any New York sports fan especially the Yankees and Jets, New York cops, moving my car 4 times a week for street sweeping ($70 fine), taxi drivers, traffic,
tolls (one is $9), and so on. I hate New York City with a passion. On a side note--the rest of the state north of the city is nothing short of beautiful and surprisingly accessible.

Cuzzin Olympics
The next olympics needs to be planned soon. This summer is still young. I'm thinking possibly Green Lake again or Aspen over Labor day weekend. I have two ideas about the olympics:
1)This should be an annual event
2)The winner of each years olympics should get to pick the location of next years events but must also be in charge of the organization.
3)The cuzzin olympics also needs a website.

Colorado
I leave for Colorado in a couple days and I think its the only thing keeping me together. Rob if you're thinking of joining us, we're camping Sunday night in Buena Vista and leaving Monday morning so get in touch with me before Friday so we can coordinate meeting up.

This deserves a double post

Photoshoppery in honor of Kyle's graduationing

Lex Talionis

I would like to start this blog entry by stating that it is no way as interesting as Rob's entry and I will not be disappointed if you don't read it in its entirety. That being said, here goes.

I spent the Memorial Weekend honoring the senseless deaths of millions by swimming, drinking, jet skiing, and fishing in southern Virginia where the Confederacy is still very much alive.

I also witnessed the wonders of the Potomac River wildlife by seeing a turtle(pictured), bald eagle, water moccasin, osprey, egret, catfish(pictured and caught by me), maryland blue crab, gopher, and an awesome fish called a Croaker which makes noises like a frog.

On an unrelated topic, I am currently taking a colon cleanser to purge my body of unwanted toxins. I have pooped 7 times since I began taking the pills less than 24 hrs ago. Strangely I had not anticipated the effects this would have on my anus.

On an equally unrelated topic, I have become sadly distressed by the news of dog fighting in the NFL. I have come to the conclusion that the only just sentence for a person caught dogfighting is lex talionis(an eye for an eye). Let said persons be put in a ring with one of this dogs and if he makes it out alive than so be it. I also wonder if there has ever in the history of cats been an all out duel between two felines to the death?

Last note: I absolutely love the look Grace has in that picture but have yet to figure out what kind of a look it is. I'm guessing perplexed.

peru1

a rough recap:

the first night in peru was spent hanging out all night in the hotel in lima, drinking duty free scoth and enjoying the company of my travel mates. we talked to some fellow gringo travelers and shared advice, and got gradually more manic as the night went on. we arrived in cuzco at 7am the next morning, completely disoriented, and enentually found a hostel. a private room with three beds was under $20 and as we sat down to talk about the details we were served coca tea. it would not be my last taste of the leaf.

we spent that day and the next planning our machu picchu journey, sipping the local beer, and getting toursit crap shoved in our face. food and souvenirs are cheap and the people are quite friendly, but the combination can be overwhelming.

muchu picchu journey, day 1: a very confused start. the guide said he'd show up at 7:30 and drive us to the bus station for the 8am 3 hour bus to the start. showed up at 7:50, on a bike. the bus was oversold, so peruvians sat in my lap. after we}ve been climbing a seemingly endless muddy mountain road with attempted construciton and closures for 6 hours through the rain, the guide decides its time to get out and get on bikes. the peruvians happily take our seats and stare dumbfounded as we put on some strange helmets, sit on the bikes, and start riding down to the jungle, instantly covered in mud. expectations were quite low at this point. it was about 40 miles downhill and turned out to be one of my favorite strange adventures. we eventually descended below the clouds, the road and mud on my face dried, no more consturction, great views over the amazon basin. my ass paid the price of entry to this paradise. jake's bike exploded and was stranded in the jungle as night fell.
-day 2 and 3 were about 30 miles through the jungle on foot with small packs, picking fruit off trees for snacks, chewing coca leaves and being dominated by mosquitos. we slept in busted hostels in small jungle town and failed to converse with the guide in spanish. we drink heavily one of these nights in a bar that was like an interrogation room from cop movies and are taught a drinking game that involves poking a cigarette into a napkin on a beer and having to drink the ash beer if you do it wrong. we try to explain flippy cup but it deteriorates into drinking a full beer every time you miss the flip. i got zapatos locos (crazy shows) and refused to go to bed when the guide said it was time and ran away while my travel mates convinced the guide to take us to another bar. he said i was a small problem. roosters do not just crow once during sunrise. those fuckers are relentless. we also crossed a river by a self propelled zipline and learned the hungry chicken handshake.
-day 4 we climbed a moutnain in the dark to get to machu picchu for sunrise, then climbed another mountain to be able to look down on it. absolute beauty. i was really expecting to feel a special power to the place, and i´m a little disappointed that i did not. perhaps it was that there were thousands of tourists and those that pray on them. either way, an incredible place.

then we spent the night partying, making it nearly 24 straight hours awake. we spent the next day in a deep chill and planned a trek, which i am supposed to be on right now, but it got delayed because jake got food posioning. he´s alright. we leave tomorrow and it should be amazing, though if things go wrong we may miss our flight to lima. i just said goodbye forever to the three pretty europeans from the MP journey and i´m really wondering why i didnt try to hook up with any of them, or that one peruvian girl. i,ve written kelly two emails and got no response and have now decided to take off the necklace she made me and experience some local culture in every way possible. before you object, i will state that we decided that we were not together this month, and we're both moving a month after i return.

everything else is basically solid. we eat out for every meal for about 5$. the food isnt spicy enough and i miss solitude, fast internet, my bed, hot showers, friends, family, girl... but its damn beautiful here once you get away from the plazas. today we went to the central market and there were piles of chicken heads and shit. it did not help cure jake´s stomach. tomorrow´s two day hike should be incredible. love to you all.

Somebody had to do it.

Will this do?

STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN

Kyle updates

I finally finished my PhD requirements, and have a deathly cold to show for it. We're now Boston bound in t-minus 3.5 months.

I'm off to a small island in the south of France in a week. I expect a lot of good wine. Can people get wine guts? I'll find out.

Children of Men is a tasty rental. Check out the two elaborate battle scenes that are filmed with only 1 shot.

Sean is 7 months old now and growing fast. Pretty soon he'll be knocking at your door asking for candy and/or a place to crash.

slump buster

I think I've avoided writing something on our little bathroom wall here a few times because after 10 days of silence, I wanted the first words to be good. Well, they won't be. I don't really have anything to say right now. The pressure is increased by the fact that this is the 400th post, and everyone loves nice round numbers.



"Slump buster" is a term that was developed with a visiting friend of mine, as we debated solutions to his unrequited love. He hadn't had sex in many months (both a support and result of said love) and we decided this was a problem. In a rare moment of forwardness, we started dancing with some girls (repetetive movement as a pickup line...strange choice for society...perhaps because of subliminal similarities to sex?) and eventually ended up at their house. We drove home that night, he got a ride home the next morning after successfully busting his slump. During the awkward goodbye, with both characters knowing they would never see each other again, she vomited on herself in the driver's seat and he said "AHHHHH" and ran into my building.



Tom Robbins is now being definitively stated as my favorite author.



This is a funny video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpBGRA6HHtY

Sometimes I say the line at the end when flushing a nasty poop. I am not sure from whence it came.



I encourage everyone to plan a vacation on Lake Powell. My week on there was among the best in my life.

Anyone have any Colorado trips planned? June 22-24 is Panic at Red Rocks. I have also decided that I will climb Mt. Snowmass. I leave in mid august, and if anyone wants to go backpacking betwenn now and then, I love you.

I'm moving to Ann Arbor, MI for 5 years of grad. school. If anyone can think of ways for me to tear down marketing from the inside, let me know. Also interested in the train from ann arbor to chicago.

Fuck comfort. What collection of Rob thoughts would be complete without my young-adult mantra? My new quote for this thought is "do something that scares you every day." Eleanor Roosevelt of all people said that. "Take a risk, make it sweet" was my friend RobD's version. My latest source of this is exercise. The runner's high. I run fast until I collapse, and then I feel good for a while. As the body falls apart, the mind gathers strength. Meditation tells me I should add this: As train of thought, personality, ego are dethroned (often the result of running or, uh, stretching) a deeper part of the mind is awakened, or at least, less drowned out. This silencing of mental chatter is our deepest and most unexplained craving. Meditation, yoga, fasting, severe intoxication, even orgasm could stem from our soul wanting our brain to just shut the fuck up for a while. While on my vacation, I compared the highs of alcohol, marijuana, fear, exhaustion, beauty, mushrooms, extacy, meditation, orgasm, and ideas. They all had something in common, beyond my enjoyment of them.

Grace's First Cubs Game

Now I know I'm old.

YEAH!!!!

Since we have family all over the nation and beyond, we have created two websites dedicated to the Sean Smackers. Here they are:
www.flickr.com/photos/seanmsmith
www.youtube.com/SeanSmacky
Mr. Trout, what is your flickr address?

Sad day in america

One of the greatest American authors of all time, Kurt Vonnegut, has passed away. He was my favorite author and in my opinion the greatest author of our time.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070412/ap_on_re_us/obit_vonnegut

For those of you who have not read his work I highly recommend any or all of the following:

Slaughterhouse-Five
Welcome to the Monkey House
Breakfast of Champions(my favorite)
Cats Cradle
A Man Without a Country(my second favorite)
God Bless You, Doctor Kevorkian
Galapagos

that thing

We all know the feeling. A sense of clarity characterized by creativty and openness. It's basically a good mood with depth. The train of thought is charging. It's the mood when television is a horrible idea. When most great ideas are midwifed. When bees are funny.

I'm willing to (basically) admit this state of mind is chemical, so the question is this: These chemicals, do they run out? If one were to find away to experience this heightened consciousness constantly, would they eventually suffer a depression (like manic depressive people) or able to sustain it (like possibly buddhist monks). Is it a muscle that can be exercised and strengthened, or is it a well that gets tapped?

It's too bad there isnt an expert on pleasureful brain chemicals on this blog or this question could possibly be answered. oh wait...

stupid post

Dear ESPN

Poker is not a sport.

Love,
Joey Joe Joe Jr.

stupid post

Dear ESPN

Poker is not a sport.

Love,
Joey Joe Joe Jr.

Finish this sentence:

I know that christ is lord because_______________________________.

Kyle extends his congrats to Rob and Jake for grad school admissions. That’s Jakoriffic on both accounts. The more doctors the better on this Godforsaken blog.

Kyle believes you are jealous because he was all up in the press, press, press, and because he gets more money back from taxes than he actually paid in the first place.

Kyle believes you are not jealous because he’s spent the last several months writing a 200pg dissertation, raising a baby, selling a house, and selling a baby.

Has Kyle been coughing up florescent orange bile lately? No, he hasn’t.

Adapt

Drunken train of thought from a few days ago:

"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend."

Bruce Lee said that. It laid in my head somewhat differently then its existence on the quote websites, but the idea has been phrased by him for me for years. Its always been an interesting debate for me. Water becomes what is around it. Water takes the path of least resistance. Water adapts. But it can also crash like a motherfucker.

Should we?

Tonight, for the first time, I tied this metaphor to the fact that we are 70 or 80% water. Interesting. Just a metaphor still, but it IS in our nature to adapt. We can live in a cubicle and we can live in a jungle. Humans are the most adaptive beings on the planet, we can live anywhere, we can do anything.

But we are also the most self-aware being on this planet. We are able to recognize our deepest goals and how we differ from the other 6 billion humans. Actually this differntiation is one of the deepest goals. We need to believe we are different, we are unique, we should not adapt. Fuck that teapot, I'm better than it, why should I become it.

Personally, I find myself quite adaptive lately. Last night, at a party in Gainesville, watching the Gators play some team, I was a UF fan. Before that, I was obsessed with marketing research. Last weekend, I was really into the University of Michigan, research on preference, and alternatively, scholarly pursuits and doing stupid shit while wearing green. It was fun.

Today I've been myself. And while it may have kept me from swimming in my hotel pool right now with the contents of one of the many sun-dresses I have been surrounded with, it's been right.

There are times to adapt, and evolution has lead us to find ease and solice in this tendency. We must, at the very least, chose what to adapt to. We must face this decision head on, and we must do it alone, because that is the only time when we're only adapting to the rarity of being ourselves.

We should be ourselves, but we become old the day we can no longer adapt.