This is a bit of an inside joke and it's pretty disgusting, but I find it hilarious, so here's the story:
The BackgroundMy friend Adam is a pretty laid back guy. Never really gets worked up or excited or worried about anything. He lives with my friend Marc, and we all occasionally hang out with the friends of Marc's girlfriend, Jessica. One of Jessica's friends has earned the nickname "the trucker" by being a disgusting, sloppy, foul-mouthed, rude, extremely unattractive person.
Tonight, My friends and I are going to party at Marc's house with many of Jessica's friends, including the trucker. Adam will be out of town with his family for thanksgiving.
It turns out that the trucker is dating a 40 year old man that I've never met, but he's been described to me as "broken down" and "unemployed." For some reason, Adam forsaw a possibility of the trucker and her boyfriend sleeping in his room, and he very seriously said that he will move out if Marc allows this to happen. He's just terrified of this possibility. It's probably the most serious I've ever seen him about anything. So, naturally, we're terrorizing him about it on the fantasy basketball message board that we share. Some highlights:
The Comment that started it:I'm dedicating this week's victory over David to you. The absolute domination of his team will pale in comparison to the sexual domination that the Trucker will host in you bedroom while you are out of town.
I'm going to stay sober all night just to set a seductive trap for The Trucker and her boyfriend. You room will be full of scented candles, beef jerky, and a CB radio. The Trucker will be in full heat when sees these and your room will be the spot where the consummate their first Trucker child.
Adam's Response (after a few others)I do not appreciate these posts. I do not find any humor in the idea of the Trucker coming into physical contact with me or any of my personal effects, let alone fucking a beaten down 40 year old man in my bed. Rest assured that when I return from vacation, my "Trucker Sense" will tell me whether you have managed to get any truckers into my room. If so, my revenge will come back ten-fold on all of your heads.
Some characteristic filth from my friend DrewRumor has it, the trucker is into anal....so don't be surprised if her old man boyfriend leaves behind some bloody trucker poop streaks as well.
Another good disgusting commentI don't think you'll need your "Trucker Sense" when you slip on the brown tampon on your floor and fall into a white crusted dental dam.
I'm not looking forward to meeting the "Trucker Fucker" so I can only imagine how you feel about them making love all over you personal belongings.
(naturally, the term "trucker fucker" has really caught on)
My recent contribution:Marc just told me that Adam's last words before he left were, "do whatever is necessary to keep that trucker out of my room."
In the spirit of the holidays, I've written some nursery rhymes dedicated to the horrible squirting that will go down in that room this very night. Also a few tongue-twisters as a warm-up.
How many truckers would a trucker fucker fuck if a trucker fucker could fuck truckers?
Trucker fucker humped the junk of chunky trucker
(sung to the tune of Mary had a little lamb)
Wienner had a little bed, the mattress soft as snow. And when he left to go on break, the bed got streaked with poo.
(sung to the tune of humpty dumpty)
Trucker fucker screwed in your room
Trucker fucker came with a boom
And all of the whores, and all of the men
Couldn’t get your sheets clean again.
There once was a wiens from bloomfield
Who did not want his room filled
But a trucker got in
And with a big toothless grin
Got fucked all over his pillows
(sung to the tune of the itsy bitsy spider)
The stinky stinky trucker, went in to Adam’s bed
In came the trash, and started getting head
Out came the cum, all over adam’s stuff
But the stinky stinky trucker, had not yet had enough
