Three-brother totem pole maneuver on oversized chairs.
Dancing with cake, followed by cake in the face, followed by unpleasant Bryan cheek-lick.
Sean and Aiden (sp?) playing chase at the reception
That Aussie drinking song. I want to know it.
Sweet long Sean nap on the return flight
Sweet Sean puke all over daddy upon Snowmass arrival
Matt’s waitress explaining how the pheasant is pheasant, but really it’s chicken.
Writing killer awesome notes on the wishing tree (like, “I’m Kerry, and that’s scary”).
Finding a piece of nasty bark outside and placing it amongst the bark seating assignments.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Gotta love the internet
I'm sitting here simultaneously reading about kyle's anal trouble, listening to a perfect radio station that i created from 3 artists i like(pandora) and watching tv quality nba games on my computer. Now I'm downloading that sylvester sallone porn that i've always wanted to see, just to prove to myself that the internet can do anything. Later I might be a samurai sword on ebay.
If interested in TV on the internet, here's what I know.
myp2p.eu seems to be the main site. It tells you what is playing, and gives you links of where you can download the software for different things to watch.
veetle.com is the best software/website I've found. They don't show everything, but most that they show is pretty damn clear and full size.
sopcast.com is also solid. you might have to create a username, but i think you can log in as a guest once you download the software. tons of channels here, but many are chinese. I'm now watching a show on the National Geographic channel about a japanese cowboy on sopcast.
Someone else, give me a "here's a reason I love the internet."
If interested in TV on the internet, here's what I know.
myp2p.eu seems to be the main site. It tells you what is playing, and gives you links of where you can download the software for different things to watch.
veetle.com is the best software/website I've found. They don't show everything, but most that they show is pretty damn clear and full size.
sopcast.com is also solid. you might have to create a username, but i think you can log in as a guest once you download the software. tons of channels here, but many are chinese. I'm now watching a show on the National Geographic channel about a japanese cowboy on sopcast.
Someone else, give me a "here's a reason I love the internet."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
the rhea
I have some bad, borderline sinister diarrhea going on here. It could be stress related, or possibly related to the questionable red wine I drank much of last night. It recalls the diarrhea of ca. 2001, when I chugged a mini bottle of Sutter Home, discovering too late that the bottom quarter was just chunks. The next day was the stuff of legend. But let's break the current situation down:
BUBB: What is the worst part about your diarrhea?
KYLE: Y'know Bubb, it's not the GI pain, the suffering, or the immobility.
BUBB: What is it, dog? The smell? The SMELL !!!?!!
KYLE: Nope. It's the sting. Those first wipes cause...abrasions.
BUBB: Anal abrasions, dog?
KYLE: You betcha. Then the next time around, guess what? It leaks in. Gets right in there and burns. And burrrrrns...
BUBB: Mmmm.....
BUBB: What is the worst part about your diarrhea?
KYLE: Y'know Bubb, it's not the GI pain, the suffering, or the immobility.
BUBB: What is it, dog? The smell? The SMELL !!!?!!
KYLE: Nope. It's the sting. Those first wipes cause...abrasions.
BUBB: Anal abrasions, dog?
KYLE: You betcha. Then the next time around, guess what? It leaks in. Gets right in there and burns. And burrrrrns...
BUBB: Mmmm.....
Friday, May 08, 2009
A train of thought about pursuits
I need something awesome to do. It should be enjoyable and worthwhile. Ideally there is some creativity to it, but ideally this creativity is not fully mental.
If I had my ideal, it would definitely be the ol' write a book. Tough to embrace that goal after 9 hours of reading though. Keep looking.
Musical instrument would score high in the worthwhile dimension. I don't have a lot of music in me, but something to try. Sax is too loud. Harmonica is nice and portable. Talking drum. yeahhhh.
I need a hookah and a talking drum. Then i'll be beat cool, which isn't bad.
I should make something. An instrument would be nice. I'll go to that scrap box place and see if I get any ideas there. What else would be a good creation... Picture frame. Nintendo games holder. Anal intruder.
Meditation is a good one, but not something I'll really be able to look forward to or be excited to take a night off for.
I could recontinue my pursuit of homeless-guy-wisdom. Sure.
Social games like the rejection contest is a good one. Kinda need a partner in crime for that though. Do I know anyone that would be down for that type of thing here? Could do it long distance with one of the cousins I suppose. Then write the experiences, maybe make a blog and eventually a novel... nice. Sp what other social games would be cool? Unrequited staring contests. The bad pick-up line challenge. Lying to strangers kind be amusing, but unlikely to lead to a whole lot of social wisdom. Same goes for things like, only speak in questions, fake accent day, etc. Maybe a bar crawl where I have to get in a conversation with the first person i see at every bar.
I could write a book where I go up to 1000 random people and say, "give me some wisdom"
Urban Survival was always pretty appealing. I could adapt it by having people drop me off in random places with no money, and see how long it takes me to complete 5 challenges. Like an urban scavenger hunt. Yeah, urban scavenger hunt! Hard to do that for just a few hours on some weekday night though. I'm straying from me goal here.
I could decorate my walls somehow. Paint? post-its with thoughts on them? That would be kinda creepy. Cool too though. I could just draw little designs with a fine tipped sharpie. Not bad.
I wish I could draw. Writing comic strips for student newspaper would be pretty sweet. I could use photoshop or something I guess. Too much computer staring already though.
What other cool physical things could I make in my apartment? Sewing? I wonder if I could make a tiny pinball game. Legos? Widdling has the advantages of knives but the disadvantage of woodchips. I could combine body parts of different stuffed animals into hybrid stuffed animals and perform sick stuffed animal genetic experiments. Good one. Not sure what I'd do with the stuffed animal mutants though. Ebay? I think this is the best idea yet. Might as well throw some numbered certificates of authenticity in there. what else... I could make one of those marble games where you turn nobs and avoid obstacles. Nice. I wonder if I could get all the parts of a watch shipped and then make that. Would need some tiny tools though.
I could invent some sort of dart game against myself. Kinda depressing though. Being a badass at darts would be nice I guess. Inventing a board game is a good one. Perhaps a mixture of "would you rather" and "rock-em sock-em robots."
Cooking would be nice and worthwhile. Only worth doing before meals though, which is no good. Unless I cooked some sort of beverage.... I could make my own tea blends...
I'll check this out tomorrow and see what still makes sense.
If I had my ideal, it would definitely be the ol' write a book. Tough to embrace that goal after 9 hours of reading though. Keep looking.
Musical instrument would score high in the worthwhile dimension. I don't have a lot of music in me, but something to try. Sax is too loud. Harmonica is nice and portable. Talking drum. yeahhhh.
I need a hookah and a talking drum. Then i'll be beat cool, which isn't bad.
I should make something. An instrument would be nice. I'll go to that scrap box place and see if I get any ideas there. What else would be a good creation... Picture frame. Nintendo games holder. Anal intruder.
Meditation is a good one, but not something I'll really be able to look forward to or be excited to take a night off for.
I could recontinue my pursuit of homeless-guy-wisdom. Sure.
Social games like the rejection contest is a good one. Kinda need a partner in crime for that though. Do I know anyone that would be down for that type of thing here? Could do it long distance with one of the cousins I suppose. Then write the experiences, maybe make a blog and eventually a novel... nice. Sp what other social games would be cool? Unrequited staring contests. The bad pick-up line challenge. Lying to strangers kind be amusing, but unlikely to lead to a whole lot of social wisdom. Same goes for things like, only speak in questions, fake accent day, etc. Maybe a bar crawl where I have to get in a conversation with the first person i see at every bar.
I could write a book where I go up to 1000 random people and say, "give me some wisdom"
Urban Survival was always pretty appealing. I could adapt it by having people drop me off in random places with no money, and see how long it takes me to complete 5 challenges. Like an urban scavenger hunt. Yeah, urban scavenger hunt! Hard to do that for just a few hours on some weekday night though. I'm straying from me goal here.
I could decorate my walls somehow. Paint? post-its with thoughts on them? That would be kinda creepy. Cool too though. I could just draw little designs with a fine tipped sharpie. Not bad.
I wish I could draw. Writing comic strips for student newspaper would be pretty sweet. I could use photoshop or something I guess. Too much computer staring already though.
What other cool physical things could I make in my apartment? Sewing? I wonder if I could make a tiny pinball game. Legos? Widdling has the advantages of knives but the disadvantage of woodchips. I could combine body parts of different stuffed animals into hybrid stuffed animals and perform sick stuffed animal genetic experiments. Good one. Not sure what I'd do with the stuffed animal mutants though. Ebay? I think this is the best idea yet. Might as well throw some numbered certificates of authenticity in there. what else... I could make one of those marble games where you turn nobs and avoid obstacles. Nice. I wonder if I could get all the parts of a watch shipped and then make that. Would need some tiny tools though.
I could invent some sort of dart game against myself. Kinda depressing though. Being a badass at darts would be nice I guess. Inventing a board game is a good one. Perhaps a mixture of "would you rather" and "rock-em sock-em robots."
Cooking would be nice and worthwhile. Only worth doing before meals though, which is no good. Unless I cooked some sort of beverage.... I could make my own tea blends...
I'll check this out tomorrow and see what still makes sense.
just overheard out my window
(this is all drunkenly screamed. there is a dramatic shit in tone 80% of the way through though, as it goes from a sense of pain to a great optimism)
I NEED ASPIRIN! Fuck! FUCK! Ice Creammmm!
I NEED ASPIRIN! Fuck! FUCK! Ice Creammmm!
Monday, May 04, 2009
My Hero
Kurt Vonnegut
A Sports Illustrated exerpt about Kurt Vonnegut:
He was an SI man! This from his son Mark Vonnegut's introduction to Armageddon in Retrospect, a collection of unpublished pieces by his father: "He was not good at being an employee. Back in the mid-1950s, he was employed by Sports Illustrated, briefly. He reported to work, was asked to write a short piece on a racehorse that had jumped over a fence and tried to run away. Kurt stared at the blank piece of paper all morning and then typed, 'The horse jumped over the f------ fence,'' and walked out, self-employed again.' ''
Inspiring.
A Sports Illustrated exerpt about Kurt Vonnegut:
He was an SI man! This from his son Mark Vonnegut's introduction to Armageddon in Retrospect, a collection of unpublished pieces by his father: "He was not good at being an employee. Back in the mid-1950s, he was employed by Sports Illustrated, briefly. He reported to work, was asked to write a short piece on a racehorse that had jumped over a fence and tried to run away. Kurt stared at the blank piece of paper all morning and then typed, 'The horse jumped over the f------ fence,'' and walked out, self-employed again.' ''
Inspiring.
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