Sweater hematoma

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HELP!

I am having an awful day. My computer just blew up and with it 3+ years of digital pictures, hundreds of pages of writings, and alot of music. Anywho I have a small favor to ask of you guys. If you have any CDs of pictures that I sent you or digital pictures of your own from any of the following events I would greatly appreciate a copy:

Any of the cuzzin weddings(excluding my own)
Any cuzzin function for that matter
Last summer backpacking trip
Atlanta pics(Bryan)
Green Lake pics(Bryan, jake, maggie, kate)
Basically anything that happened where I was present and pictures were taken or even if I wasn't present and it was really cool.

Let me know if you have any pictures and thanks in advance if you'd be so kind as to send them to me.

Steps

Step 1: Read this article
Step 2: Notice the name Woody Lipps
Step 3: Acknowledge that Woody Lipps is in charge of forrest patrol

Olympricks

I've got to admit that I've been watching the olympics with more enthusiasm than I had anticipated. I'm quite hooked actually. Anyway, I was watching women's individual figure skating tonight(not my favorite, but not altogether bad either) and I was appalled at how critical the judges can be of the performances.

Here's some jackass I've never heard of saying how horrible it is that the Japanese skater missed a 1/4 rotation on a triple lutz and then only followed with a double toe loop. How could she!? The poor girl also barely touched the wall of the rink and they proceeded to butcher this 16yr old girl for not having "olympic maturity." Apparently she didn't have a proper angle on her camel spin either, oh no! How could a girl be so brilliant at times and so sloppy as well, they said. Here's an answer, SHE'S 16! And she's probably really nervous you dick. She made it to the goddamn olympics so she's probably pretty descent.

And then the American girl goes and the same dipshit announcer is astounded how, and I quote, "she had no wibble wobble" in her triple-ann landing. Blah, blah, blah. Its sooo freakin amazing how she just skated her personal best. Bling, blah, bong. And with unbridled enthusiam "They(the American skaters)took all the pressure of the olympics and turned it into a positive force." Yada, yada. Ooh "the fire in her eyes" and "can you believe the musicality of her program?" I'm sorry, did you say musicality? What does that mean? It means YAY America, BOO everyone else.

I think this sucks. And its not just in this sport. Its in every sport short of biathalon and curling which really are too stupid to be in the olmypics anyway. Everyone other than the USA who wins or does well is either lucky or merely adequate while bozos like Bode Miller are world class heroes simply for showing up. BOO! And by the way, are we the only country that obnoxiously chants our own acronym when we win? Or does England yell Great Brit-tain Great Brit-tain everytime they win. How about Eston-i-a Eston-i-a?

I hate Americans.


Just Plain Random
time: 10:43
# of time the word olympics(including this one) was used: 6
# of days William Henry Harrison was president before he died: 37
picking up dog poop in 15 degree weather: warm
Killing the Advertising executive at Master Card: priceless

Who's with me?

www.bluemorphotours.com

I know you are, Mr. Rubb.

In the year 2000

In the year 2000 the elderly will be outfitted with lasers attached to their glasses...why you ask? Only the most ahead-of-its-time-movie-of-all-time Tron will provide insight.

Disney Devo

Check out the DEBUT album from DEV2.0 and more!!! http://disney.go.com/disneyrecords/Song-Albums/devo20

The Conundrum2

I would have liked to title the post "The Conundrum: Solved" but I must admit it has not quite come to that.

I'm alive, which is good.

So here's the story: Our group of 8 was slow to get organized. Leaving Denver after 7, and arriving in Aspen after 1, with bags still to be negotiated and no avalanche beacons due to all the rental places being closed. We were up by 6 the next morning but a few missing gloves and further backpack renegotiations, as well as a mile-long "no-parking" spell kept us off the trail until after 10. After less than a mile on rented Touring skis with cheapo skins, there were further delays for the application of band-aids, walkie-talky fixing, etc. It was slow moving at first, as 5 of 8 hadn't ever ridden on cross-country skis before.



We stopped for lunch at 12:30, after traveling 2 out of 8.5 miles. Then we lost the trail, had to traverse some scetchy climbs and falls and an even sketchier self-made river crossing.



This expended a lot of time and energy, left 2 crew-members with wet shoes, and one crew-member completely submerged in the water, comically flopping around on his back, unable to upright himself due to weight of backpack.

We pushed on even harder, but by the time the sun had set, we had only travel 4.5 out of 8.5 miles, and had, for maybe the 5th time, completely lost the trail and dead-ended into a river.

Exhausted, wet, cold, and lost, we decided to set up camp for the night. It was almost certainly a good call, definitely the safest, as we hadn't even entered the truly dangerous avalanche terrain, and were all completely exhausted and had no sunlight to guide ourselves by.

We stomped down the snow, set up tents, gathered logs (difficult through 6 feet of snow) and made a fire on top of the snow. As time passed, whiskey bottles declined, the temp plunged into the single digits, and the fire sank further and further into the snow, forcing the digging of surrounding seats and leaving us with a very quaint fire-den.




We had another slow morning start, partly due to the fact that all our water and water filters had completely frozen. The trip home was far more enjoyable due to a lack of skins, a downward slope, and the promise of a hickory house only 6 miles from the trail-head. It was extremely scenic out there, and is highly recommended, although it's rumored to be quite crowded in the summer and quite impossible in the winter.



SO yeah, we didn't make it to the hotsprings, but we probably had even more fun drinking in the fire den. Yeah, it was a cold night, but warming and numbing have little effectual difference. Yeah, it might have been a little reckless attempting something like this with nearly every crew-member lacking XC sking or winter camping experience, little knowledge of the trail and area, and no beacons, but it was easily worth the risk, and I plan on attempting it again before leaving this wonderful state.

Eraser baby

Coincidence? I think not

Remember that piece of wood we found in the woods? Well I think you guys need to watch the movie Little Otik and you'll realize that was no ordinary piece of wood. It was actually a carnivorous demon child and we barely escaped with our lives. I watched that movie last night and it scared the shit out of me. Rent it and you'll see.

Kubrick-ian Kyle

And with this, the student surpasses her master.




Am I a bad mommy?

The Conundrum

I'll begin with the menacing attention-getter that this could be my last cousin blog post ever.

ooooh

After much deliberation, I have decided to cross-country ski 10 miles to the Conundrum Hot Springs this weekend. It's just outside of Aspen, and is supposedly rather sketchy in the winter due to avalanche danger. We'll hike 10 miles in saturday morning, set up camp, jump in the hot springs, and reemerge in the roughly 0 degree night with nothing but whiskey and layers of wool to keep us warm. It shall be scenic, dangerous, cold, and the adventure that I've been needing. We're renting avalanche beacons tomorrow. Expect a picture post on monday with the results.

Here's the 2 links I found about it being done in the winter:
http://www.wildsnow.com/articles/first_trip_chastity_belt/backcountry_IX_1_chastity.html
http://www.slackerdom.com/1999/04_cbutte/#comments

Much love to you all

Link

It's not poo, pee or vomit, but it's pretty cool.

http://www.industrial-technology-and-witchcraft.de/movs/roundabout.mov

gross

when you wake up to take a nice morning dump, pick some reading material from your poo-side magazine rack and then realize it is splattered with vomit and even after washing your hands you can't seem to escape the smell

Hello

March 11-19

I have the week of the 11th to the 19th off from school. What is anyone doing around that time? Put in the highest bid and I'll come visit you. All my friends are fairies so I'm all by my lonesome. I'm leaning towards going skiing/pillaging in CO. I've been visualizing about the turns I'm going to make pretty heavily lately so you'd betta watch out. Included is a picture of what happened last time I went to CO... so if you want to be that guy who stands shocked underneath my huge airs write back. I'll be 21 too so gay bars are in! J-Ray-Steezy Print

Preggers

We've got a pregnant Dee!

It will be the first baby to be born on a blog. Don't worry about how that will work; that's my problem.

Matt

Matt! Rage. Melodic Rage. your Id that was expired in 2003 and said that I was 28 failed me last night. I've had it forever. I was so drunk I forgot the birthday I said 3/6/76 instead of 11/4/76 Ive failed you. The only thing that makes it less bitter is the fact that I will be 21 in 17days go figur

Quote of the day

"If this is foreplay, I'm a deadman!"


Kudos if you can guess the actor
A shiny new quarter if you can guess the movie

Dee's Claim to Fame

Last night, Kyle and I watched a Jiminy Glick movie starring none other than Bry-Bry's ex, Linda Cardellini. That got me thinking about the people from my past that are now drenched in limelight (or at least glazed by it). I'd like to share with you the famous ladies that I know on a first name basis.

The first is Jeri Ryan, my old babysitter from Paducah, KY, who is famous for giving thousands of Star Trek geeks their first hard-on:


The next is my old nemesis, Jennifer Carpenter. We got in such a huge fight in 7th grade that she actually transfered schools (I wrote "bitch" on the sleeve of her Land's End jacket). She came back in 8th grade and we were friends again. Here she is as Emily Rose:


And last but not least is Audrey Hollander, whose real name I will keep to myself. We were friends in high school, back when she was a dirty hippie living near Churchill Downs instead of a dirty porn star living in L.A. She was pure white trash, poor as dirt, but she was such a brat to her parents that I stopped being friends with her. Its probably their fault, though - when "Audrey" was 3, her parents weren't watching their brownies close enough she went on a trip she wasn't ready for. Here is the cover of one of her movies (one out of at least 100):