Happy Halloween

Thanks for the invite

Hi everybody

Dear Rob

Dear Rob-

Can you send our cousin Bryan an invite or email or something that tells him how to get back on the cousin blog. He just upgraded his Caleco to a real computer and can now access that new thing called the interweb. You may want to enclose explicit directions and possibly colored drawings to assist him (he also likes pop up books). I know you're busy but if you have the time help a cousin out. Thanks much.

Sincerely,
Cousin Matt

You'v e just been Nard-Dogged

Clearly I love some movies that the cuzzins hate. But do I hate movies that the cuzzins love? Let’s see…

Some movies I really hate, off the top of my head:
Armageddon
Planet of the Apes (new version)
Cruel Intentions
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Patch Adams
Instinct
Roadhouse (not!)
Fracture
Fahrenheit 9/11
Anything involving Dane Cooke in any capacity whatsoever (ditto Matthew Lillard)
Nacho Libre
Fantastic Four

Some recent movies that I found really disappointing:
Apocalypto
Crash
Blood Diamond
Shrek
Super Troopers

Next Friday I head for San Diego. I will stay in a hostel and, perhaps, be burned to death by the California fires. Pray for me. Pray for Mojo.

After some thought, I've decided that my favorite movie in the last while has got to be Children of Men.

Adobe Illustrator kicks ass.

So do the BoSox. Eat it Denver.

The Awesome Power of Clams

For those of you you who need to throw up RIGHT NOW comes the miracle invention that will change the drinking world as we know it. In a breakthrough concept, Budweiser has combined the awesome power of Clamato with a beer once thought to be at its peak. Lets look at the timeline that led to this amazing creation.

2nd day of Creation: God invents water (key ingredient in Budweiser)
3rd day of Creation: God invents tomatoes as well as malts, hops, sugar, etc.
1876: Budweiser Lager Beer is born as the brainchild of Adolphus Busch and Eberhard Anheuser
1969: Walter Chell thinks to himself "You know what would make tomato juice better......mashed clams." Clamato is born.
2007: Anheuser-Busch combines Budweiser and Clamato for the super drink now known as Chelada.
2008: Greenhouse gases produced from Chelada vomit destroys the ozone. Life on this planet ceases to exist.

Cousin Sighting

I saw a cousin last night, and thought I'd share:

I was driving, Kyle was riding shotgun, and Matt was in the backseat. He had a laptop case with weed in it. As we pulled into a parking lot, our cat slid through the open window and escaped. Someone had left a holigram running in the parking lot, and Matt didn't realize it was fake. It was a woman dressed as a nurse and she was asking Matt what he thought about this kitty (motioning toward a holigram cat rubbing up against her leg). I can't see her front but I know she's a kitty porn video, and I'm laughing at the look on Matt's face cuz he still doesn't know its fake. Then I'm gripped with horror at the thought of there being kitty porn people nearby while our cat is missing.

The dream also included a hotel that could blast into outer space like a rocket, a suggestion from our friends that we meet up in Jersey for a wedding even though none of us have anything to do with "Jersey", Owen Wilson as a lifeguard at the pool I belong to (which is in an occupied zone, or maybe a green zone right near battle lines, I could watch bombs and planes and then go swimming), a bat belonging to Owen which I found laying in a bell, exhausted and perhaps wearing shorts, and which I returned to him, and a clarification of the term "Morty" as in "Show it to Morty and he'll show it to God."

Taliban Grace

Anyone drop like a fly at the marathon? Sounded brutal.

Lucy

Call that a depressing Personal Profile?

Underweight yet flabby MWM with terribly itchy eyes seeks like-minded MWM to commiserate over total lack of time to do anything but clean up after messy babies and do laundry once in awhile. No fatties.

Personal profile

SWM. Overweight. currently in the middle of midterms right now. Per Rubb's request has been listening to a ton of Toots on Pandora. Recommends RJD2 station for some chillout study music. Recommends repeating in mantra: there is no limit to how much information I can put in my brain. Best studying gets done when he goes to the library stacks where all of the old books are, he finds it inspiring. For those of you who care, is currently enjoying a cocktail of an anti-parasite medication, an anti-biotic medication, a pro-biotic medication to enhance naturally occurring bacteria, and Prilosec for stomach acid. All-in-all he still prefers gin. Believes Millennium Cousin award should go to Deekyle for their Youtube webpages, modern building pictures, and thousands of other electronic-savy contributions.

Rubb, I accidently left both of the Peru maps at your house. Do you have them? Can I have one? I will listen to your previously posted music selections.