http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtshOIeK4Vk
This is a classic old techno song from the 90s. It is just so weird with the video that I had to post it. Hypnotic almost.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Thoughts
Professional athletes should wear glasses with little mirrors on the sides so that they can see behind them. I bet a guy like Chris Paul or Amare Stoudemire could eventually dominate people with a smooth behind the back glass pass.
As gay as twittering is, it’s pretty cool that I could twitter that to Amar’e and he’d probably read it. Assuming I’d be willing to sign up for a twitter account that is.
Next time I have a big house party, I'm going to get a light-bright and put it out where people can play with it. Because hey man, lightbrights are great.
You'd think there’d be more skate wounds in hockey. If someone came to me with an idea for a sport where huge men race around on a little box of ice at 30 mph with knives on their feet, I’d expect more slash wounds than a cook-off between rival Mexican street gangs.
When I buy a house, I'm going to make one of these in my yard. It will take a while to grow, but when it gets there, oooh baby.
If I could have any pet, I would get a Lama. It would carry my backpack and I would train it to spit at my enemies.
It probably won't be long before gatorade invents snortable electrolytes. They will need to keep in mind that flavors that are pleasing to the mouth are not necessarily pleasing to the nose.
My body should understand that blisters are not a good solution to have uncomfortable soccer shoes. No skin-bubble is going to make those shoes fit me any better, you've tried that, move on.
As gay as twittering is, it’s pretty cool that I could twitter that to Amar’e and he’d probably read it. Assuming I’d be willing to sign up for a twitter account that is.
Next time I have a big house party, I'm going to get a light-bright and put it out where people can play with it. Because hey man, lightbrights are great.
You'd think there’d be more skate wounds in hockey. If someone came to me with an idea for a sport where huge men race around on a little box of ice at 30 mph with knives on their feet, I’d expect more slash wounds than a cook-off between rival Mexican street gangs.
When I buy a house, I'm going to make one of these in my yard. It will take a while to grow, but when it gets there, oooh baby.If I could have any pet, I would get a Lama. It would carry my backpack and I would train it to spit at my enemies.
It probably won't be long before gatorade invents snortable electrolytes. They will need to keep in mind that flavors that are pleasing to the mouth are not necessarily pleasing to the nose.
My body should understand that blisters are not a good solution to have uncomfortable soccer shoes. No skin-bubble is going to make those shoes fit me any better, you've tried that, move on.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
seesawsomebone
Rob's hot sauce face keeps staring at me when I check here, so I'm just going to post something. Here it is: a facebook conversation with Whippit
What do you want for your birthday? Stuff? Junk? Another jawbone?
o
I don't need more stuff, except maybe a gamecube(mine is broken) or something fun for outside. Feel free to get creative.
o
50 new jawbones it is.
o
Maybe I could find a way to hook them all together and make an ultra-jawbone, or jawsomebone, as I like to call it.
o
The jawsomebone stretches from butt to mouth and makes heavenly sounds. Or am I thinking of something else?
o
and it can only be played by thrusting motions.
o
like a sesaw?
o
surprisingly, yes.
o
Seesawsomebone. I'm not at all surprised.
What do you want for your birthday? Stuff? Junk? Another jawbone?
o
I don't need more stuff, except maybe a gamecube(mine is broken) or something fun for outside. Feel free to get creative.
o
50 new jawbones it is.
o
Maybe I could find a way to hook them all together and make an ultra-jawbone, or jawsomebone, as I like to call it.
o
The jawsomebone stretches from butt to mouth and makes heavenly sounds. Or am I thinking of something else?
o
and it can only be played by thrusting motions.
o
like a sesaw?
o
surprisingly, yes.
o
Seesawsomebone. I'm not at all surprised.
Friday, April 08, 2011
Hot Sauce Experiment
(I can give more of an intro on this if people are curious, but the short version is that I've been working for years on a book that involves a lot of "behavioral learning experiments", which are behaviors designed to teach me something. In general, learning by doing seems to work better than learning by reading, so the idea is to come up with a series of behavioral experiments that will teach me certain lessons. Here's a rough version of a chapter that I wrote tonight).
What you are thinking about is the main predictor of happiness and enjoyment. You can be in the most beautiful place in the world, but if you’re in a shitty mood and focusing on the one piece of trash on the otherwise flawless landscape, to you it might as well be a junk-yard. On the other hand, you can be walking through a shit-field, but if you’re completely focused on the one little flower growing out of the shit, then to you it’s no different than being in a flower-field.
Controlling the mind is the key to happiness. When I feel unhappy my first reaction is to try to change the external world: I am unsatisfied with the TV so I get a new one, not realizing that I will soon be unhappy with this new TV. The world is difficult to change to fit with my desires, and even when I achieve this, my desires change and I again feel unsatisfied. It would be far more useful to be able to change my own internal states. I need to learn to accept things, not necessarily all things, because I do want to continue to fight and grow, but certainly most things. I need to learn to focus on the positives. Although this may be more difficult than buying a new TV, it will give me the power to appreciate and enjoy anything. And because happiness is one of my primary goals in life, I think I should spend more time practicing enjoyment.
To serve this goal, I occasionally read Buddhist teachings, which have a strong focus on this exact idea, but the knowledge that this is a superior plan rarely translates into behavior. I occasionally meditate, practicing focusing my mind on nothing or counting, but I’m not very good at it. So I developed an experiment where I would eat a huge dose of hot sauce and try to meditate my way around the pain. If I can control my mind away from the pain, I should be able to control it away from anything. And the main advantage is that when my concentration waivers, I will be hit hard by the pain, which will serve as a strong motivation to stay focused.
I’ve tried this one before. It’s pretty straightforward. I eat a large dose of the most painful hot sauce I own, and then I try to deal with the pain. I’ve had mixed results. Focusing single-mindedly on the pain seems to help for some reason.
I’m nervous as I write this. My palms are sweating, my heart is pounding, I have nerve gas (a name a just made up for the nervous farts that we all know and love), and I’m feeling nauseous. I try to interpret the nausea as a reason to delay this experiment, telling myself that a weak stomach is not the time for a massive habanero dosage, but that's not a good enough excuse. I’ve been lazy on getting these experiments going, and it’s about damn time to do a serious one. The anxiety is funny; I know that what I’m about to do is good for me and I know it will hurt. My body seems to be focused on the pain aspect of this, and it’s interesting to me that it can differentiate these two appraisals and be so focused on the one that affects it more.
I’m even clenching my teeth. Jesus. Fuck it. I’m going to clear off my bed to give myself a place to sit, open the window because this seems like it will be more pleasant if I’m cold, and do the job. I’ll consider typing something here during it, but it goes against the theory of immersion, so we’ll see.
Remember, this is good for me. Remember, focusing thoughts is the most important skill I can develop for my well-being, and that being punished for letting my attention waiver will be helpful in this pursuit. Here goes.
(actually I took my time preparing my dose, taking a picture, and practicing meditation before I sauced myself. The meditation went poorly because I was nervous for the saucing and out of practice, and I nearly convinced myself that I need more mediation practice before the sauce experiment would be maximally useful. While this may be true, it doesn’t make for as good of a story, and the story was already partly written. I’ve always loved the quote, “If someone wrote a story about your life, would anyone want to read it?” I am motivated by my desire for that answer to be yes, especially now that I’m writing the story.)
It is now 11:50 PM. Exactly 10 minutes have elapsed since the hot sauce consumption (about 2 teaspoons of “Endorphin Rush” hot sauce for those keeping score, but it should also be noted that I have little conception for the quantity of liquid in a teaspoon). I have changed my pants (see below) and am blasting Rodrigo y Gabriela which I have a sudden craving for. It took me a while to figure out how to turn my music on. My tongue is still feeling some significant burning, perhaps a 4, where 10 is the most pain I’ve ever felt and around 8.5 is where I was at the peak of sauciness.
The experiment didn’t go exactly as planned. It started off poorly. I ate the sauce-chip (sauce facing down, avoiding contact with the lips, substantial chewing) and was quickly wondering whether it was a big enough dose. My experiences with The Bomb seemed to hit much harder and taste much worse, and my one extremely severe Dave’s insanity sauce incident (I filled a ravioli with it for some reason) also hit a little harder at first I think. So I paced around debating whether to pour some Dave’s on my tongue, but the pain increased dramatically and I decided I had done enough.
I swished some water around in my mouth to spread the pain around (which I fully believed at the time but question now) grabbed my camera, and sat down on my bed to begin meditating.
While writing this, a bead of sweat from my forehead just splashed on my keyboard. My hands are shaking. I think I’ve earned an ice-cube. Mmmm soothing.
I believe I have experienced success before by focusing on my tongue. Centering the entirety of my attention on my tongue somehow overwhelmed the pain, or made it more abstract, or made it consistent enough for adaptation, or something. It somehow made the pain go away, so I tried this.
I couldn’t really do it though. The instant I centered my attention on the pain in my mouth it would increase dramatically and I’d feel dizzy and maybe say something like “jesus fuck” and coat my tongue with saliva.
I tried this maybe three times in about 10 seconds, took this picture, and then found myself on my feet, pacing around my room, pounding on my chest to distract myself from the pain in my mouth. This seemed no different than just quitting and filling my mouth with the ice cubes I had prepared, so I quickly outlawed it. I decided that focusing on something else would still fulfill my goal of learning mind control through this experiment so I paced around for about a minute focusing on my hands, holding them up in front of my face and staring at them and thinking really hard about them and the handy sensations they were giving me. I heard drunk undergrads outside my window and laughed at how different my friday night is from theirs. The laughter made my mouth hurt.
I sat back down on my bed and decided I should try again to focus my attention on my tongue and mouth and pain. In retrospect, thinking happier thoughts would probably have been more successful and a more useful skill to learn, but I had it in my head as I began this experiment that I’d be sitting on my bed thinking about my tongue, and I couldn’t trust my decisions to do anything else, fearing that they were some sort of sneaky-cop out.
I was again overwhelmed with pain. A new problem revealed itself. My mouth was watering profusely, but swallowing the saliva involved closing my mouth and changing the sensation on my tongue, which made it impossible to get used to the pain.
I decided that I would just have to let myself drool. And drool I did. Drips were pouring out of my mouth, often leaving my mouth before the previous one had landed on my crossed legs a foot below my head. I finally had some success with the meditation though. I probably sat there for 5 minutes, drooling like a newborn baby all over my pants, uncomfortably dizzy, thinking about my mouth and feeling occasional transcendence from the pain. As this became easier, it also became boring, and I decided that it was time to start writing. It’s not 12:22 and I feel a kind of opiate high, hazy and content. When the body is in pain it releases endorphins, and in the case of a pain with a fairly pronounced ending like hot sauce, you can feel a pretty great high once they pain is gone but the endorphins remain.
I consider the experiment a success. I am reminded of the importance of being able to control my thoughts, and although my motivated practicing of this focus didn’t yield the success I hoped for, I did have some success and have an increased desire to continue to work on this fundamental skill.
I also learned a few other lessons that I have been thinking of running their own experiments for. First, I think I made an example of myself. I proved to myself that I’m willing to endure some substantial pain in the name of my own personal growth, and so next time I’m deciding between a difficult book and a Simpsons rerun, and I can remember that I chose pain over sweet soothing ice-cubes and was glad I did.
Related to that, I think I reinforced my will-power a bit. I know I’m capable of passing on those beautiful ice cubes and should therefore be able to have no trouble resisting checking the failblog every day to procrastinate my work.
What you are thinking about is the main predictor of happiness and enjoyment. You can be in the most beautiful place in the world, but if you’re in a shitty mood and focusing on the one piece of trash on the otherwise flawless landscape, to you it might as well be a junk-yard. On the other hand, you can be walking through a shit-field, but if you’re completely focused on the one little flower growing out of the shit, then to you it’s no different than being in a flower-field.
Controlling the mind is the key to happiness. When I feel unhappy my first reaction is to try to change the external world: I am unsatisfied with the TV so I get a new one, not realizing that I will soon be unhappy with this new TV. The world is difficult to change to fit with my desires, and even when I achieve this, my desires change and I again feel unsatisfied. It would be far more useful to be able to change my own internal states. I need to learn to accept things, not necessarily all things, because I do want to continue to fight and grow, but certainly most things. I need to learn to focus on the positives. Although this may be more difficult than buying a new TV, it will give me the power to appreciate and enjoy anything. And because happiness is one of my primary goals in life, I think I should spend more time practicing enjoyment.
To serve this goal, I occasionally read Buddhist teachings, which have a strong focus on this exact idea, but the knowledge that this is a superior plan rarely translates into behavior. I occasionally meditate, practicing focusing my mind on nothing or counting, but I’m not very good at it. So I developed an experiment where I would eat a huge dose of hot sauce and try to meditate my way around the pain. If I can control my mind away from the pain, I should be able to control it away from anything. And the main advantage is that when my concentration waivers, I will be hit hard by the pain, which will serve as a strong motivation to stay focused.
I’ve tried this one before. It’s pretty straightforward. I eat a large dose of the most painful hot sauce I own, and then I try to deal with the pain. I’ve had mixed results. Focusing single-mindedly on the pain seems to help for some reason.
I’m nervous as I write this. My palms are sweating, my heart is pounding, I have nerve gas (a name a just made up for the nervous farts that we all know and love), and I’m feeling nauseous. I try to interpret the nausea as a reason to delay this experiment, telling myself that a weak stomach is not the time for a massive habanero dosage, but that's not a good enough excuse. I’ve been lazy on getting these experiments going, and it’s about damn time to do a serious one. The anxiety is funny; I know that what I’m about to do is good for me and I know it will hurt. My body seems to be focused on the pain aspect of this, and it’s interesting to me that it can differentiate these two appraisals and be so focused on the one that affects it more.
I’m even clenching my teeth. Jesus. Fuck it. I’m going to clear off my bed to give myself a place to sit, open the window because this seems like it will be more pleasant if I’m cold, and do the job. I’ll consider typing something here during it, but it goes against the theory of immersion, so we’ll see.
Remember, this is good for me. Remember, focusing thoughts is the most important skill I can develop for my well-being, and that being punished for letting my attention waiver will be helpful in this pursuit. Here goes.
(actually I took my time preparing my dose, taking a picture, and practicing meditation before I sauced myself. The meditation went poorly because I was nervous for the saucing and out of practice, and I nearly convinced myself that I need more mediation practice before the sauce experiment would be maximally useful. While this may be true, it doesn’t make for as good of a story, and the story was already partly written. I’ve always loved the quote, “If someone wrote a story about your life, would anyone want to read it?” I am motivated by my desire for that answer to be yes, especially now that I’m writing the story.)
It is now 11:50 PM. Exactly 10 minutes have elapsed since the hot sauce consumption (about 2 teaspoons of “Endorphin Rush” hot sauce for those keeping score, but it should also be noted that I have little conception for the quantity of liquid in a teaspoon). I have changed my pants (see below) and am blasting Rodrigo y Gabriela which I have a sudden craving for. It took me a while to figure out how to turn my music on. My tongue is still feeling some significant burning, perhaps a 4, where 10 is the most pain I’ve ever felt and around 8.5 is where I was at the peak of sauciness.
The experiment didn’t go exactly as planned. It started off poorly. I ate the sauce-chip (sauce facing down, avoiding contact with the lips, substantial chewing) and was quickly wondering whether it was a big enough dose. My experiences with The Bomb seemed to hit much harder and taste much worse, and my one extremely severe Dave’s insanity sauce incident (I filled a ravioli with it for some reason) also hit a little harder at first I think. So I paced around debating whether to pour some Dave’s on my tongue, but the pain increased dramatically and I decided I had done enough.
I swished some water around in my mouth to spread the pain around (which I fully believed at the time but question now) grabbed my camera, and sat down on my bed to begin meditating.
While writing this, a bead of sweat from my forehead just splashed on my keyboard. My hands are shaking. I think I’ve earned an ice-cube. Mmmm soothing.
I believe I have experienced success before by focusing on my tongue. Centering the entirety of my attention on my tongue somehow overwhelmed the pain, or made it more abstract, or made it consistent enough for adaptation, or something. It somehow made the pain go away, so I tried this.
I couldn’t really do it though. The instant I centered my attention on the pain in my mouth it would increase dramatically and I’d feel dizzy and maybe say something like “jesus fuck” and coat my tongue with saliva.
I tried this maybe three times in about 10 seconds, took this picture, and then found myself on my feet, pacing around my room, pounding on my chest to distract myself from the pain in my mouth. This seemed no different than just quitting and filling my mouth with the ice cubes I had prepared, so I quickly outlawed it. I decided that focusing on something else would still fulfill my goal of learning mind control through this experiment so I paced around for about a minute focusing on my hands, holding them up in front of my face and staring at them and thinking really hard about them and the handy sensations they were giving me. I heard drunk undergrads outside my window and laughed at how different my friday night is from theirs. The laughter made my mouth hurt.
I sat back down on my bed and decided I should try again to focus my attention on my tongue and mouth and pain. In retrospect, thinking happier thoughts would probably have been more successful and a more useful skill to learn, but I had it in my head as I began this experiment that I’d be sitting on my bed thinking about my tongue, and I couldn’t trust my decisions to do anything else, fearing that they were some sort of sneaky-cop out.
I was again overwhelmed with pain. A new problem revealed itself. My mouth was watering profusely, but swallowing the saliva involved closing my mouth and changing the sensation on my tongue, which made it impossible to get used to the pain.
I decided that I would just have to let myself drool. And drool I did. Drips were pouring out of my mouth, often leaving my mouth before the previous one had landed on my crossed legs a foot below my head. I finally had some success with the meditation though. I probably sat there for 5 minutes, drooling like a newborn baby all over my pants, uncomfortably dizzy, thinking about my mouth and feeling occasional transcendence from the pain. As this became easier, it also became boring, and I decided that it was time to start writing. It’s not 12:22 and I feel a kind of opiate high, hazy and content. When the body is in pain it releases endorphins, and in the case of a pain with a fairly pronounced ending like hot sauce, you can feel a pretty great high once they pain is gone but the endorphins remain.I consider the experiment a success. I am reminded of the importance of being able to control my thoughts, and although my motivated practicing of this focus didn’t yield the success I hoped for, I did have some success and have an increased desire to continue to work on this fundamental skill.
I also learned a few other lessons that I have been thinking of running their own experiments for. First, I think I made an example of myself. I proved to myself that I’m willing to endure some substantial pain in the name of my own personal growth, and so next time I’m deciding between a difficult book and a Simpsons rerun, and I can remember that I chose pain over sweet soothing ice-cubes and was glad I did.
Related to that, I think I reinforced my will-power a bit. I know I’m capable of passing on those beautiful ice cubes and should therefore be able to have no trouble resisting checking the failblog every day to procrastinate my work.
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