Monday, January 30, 2006

Sapp Amplitude

So I spent the last 4 days in Aspen for the Winter X-Games.

We were at the mountain 6 hours and saw half of 2 events, Snowboard downhill freestyle, which was kinda cool, and half of female snowboard halfpipe, which sucked. Best moto bike trick was canceled due to a fucking snow delay, which is a contingency that probably should have been accounted for. But the snow provided great skiing and slippery drinking, which was a plus for the Damian Marley show, which I'll give an 8, download "Welcome to Jamrock" album. New Reggae, up for some grammies.

It was a great 4 days in all, including 2 "sick days", free reggae, lots of Crown Royal stupid announcers who are mockably hip (FYI, "Amplitude" is the new hippest word), 4 hot tubs, and an intense craving for Bob Sapp footage.

Who is Bob Sapp ya say? For shame.

It's time you learned about a great man. A man with unsurpassed courage and grit. A man we should all aspire to be more like. Now, Bob Sapp could have stopped at being a massive black man, but that won't necessarily make you intensely popular in Japan, so he stepped up and became a massive black kickboxer, and began beating smaller men
unmercifully in the ring. Then he released an awesome song. A true God among men.

2 comments:

K-Snake said...

Why do the fights all take place in Japan? Is he banned in the states?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Rubb a Dubb, you've done it again. Sapp! O Sapp. Do not go Sappily into that silent night. Only in Japan. I'm pretty sure, in response to Kyle's question, that only in Japan do they have the technology and undying diligence to create a robot, guerilla, kickboxer. I've come to believe that Hiroshima and Nagasaki, oft credited as being the sleeping giant awakened by pearl harbor, were not what General Hideki Tojo was referring to after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. That, infact was a mis-translation. I have been working on a more accurate translation and here it is:

"We rrove Karaoke, and Math, but I am aflaid that we woke up Bob Sapp. Mu gu guy pan (yet untranslated). Bob Sapp will walk across the pacific ocean to the Sea of Japan to fight Godzilla!"

Me and My colleagues have been working endless hours on that Scientific Translation of Intelligence. I assure you it is both Scientific and educated.