IQ Test

I've created an IQ test that will examine you as human being. Using an in depth formula I can calculate your place in society. As a great philosopher once said, "Standardized tests are the only reliable format that can tell you who you are." Please answer truthfully, as I stated before in a previous sentence on an unrelated posting, this is very scientific. The questions will differ in intensity and depth so take your time answering. Thank you for your time and good luck, I will post the results after the tests are in. Special thanks to Lizard for her contributions.

1. How would you describe your facial hair?
a)Post-bender stubble
b)Grizzly Adams
c)Smooth as Paris Hillton's beaver
d)Magnum PI

2.What is your favorite color?
a)Teal
b)Mist
c)Aqua
d)Cobalt

3.Four trains are travelling to New York, which will arrive first? The one from...
a)Mystic, CT
b)No Name, CO
c)Tuscaloosa, AL
d)Dooganville, PA

4. There's a spider at your front door, a snake at the window, and a scorpion on the phone. Do you-
a)None of the below
b)Answer the call because scorpions can't sting over the phone
c)Eat the spider because its a hallucinogenic Peruvian Tarantula
d)Wait for the snake to eat the trippy spider

5.What article of clothing are you more likely to wear
a)Capri pants
b)Tank top
c)Dickie
d)Ascot

6.How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
a)Who cares?
b)Give me back my sucker you fucking owl
c)2,345
d)2,346

7.If you were stranded on a deserted island what thing could you not live without.
a)Hot fudge to compliment all the desert
b)Sweet, sweet titties
c)The Lifetime Channel
d)Capri pants

8.You are riding the subway and an attractive person is standing next to you with a nipple popping out, do you.....
a)Put on your sunglasses so you can stare without getting caught
b)Try to hide your boner
c)Politely call it to his attention
d)Tap the guy next to you so he can see too

9. How would you describe your favortite sexual experience
a)Rootie tootie fresh and fruity
b)Moons over my hammie
c)Table for one please
d)Eggs benedict with a side of sausage

10. Which song would best describe your personality
a)Its Raining Men
b)Purple Rain
c)Rain drops keep falling on my head
d)Blame it on the rain