I have some bad, borderline sinister diarrhea going on here. It could be stress related, or possibly related to the questionable red wine I drank much of last night. It recalls the diarrhea of ca. 2001, when I chugged a mini bottle of Sutter Home, discovering too late that the bottom quarter was just chunks. The next day was the stuff of legend. But let's break the current situation down:
BUBB: What is the worst part about your diarrhea?
KYLE: Y'know Bubb, it's not the GI pain, the suffering, or the immobility.
BUBB: What is it, dog? The smell? The SMELL !!!?!!
KYLE: Nope. It's the sting. Those first wipes cause...abrasions.
BUBB: Anal abrasions, dog?
KYLE: You betcha. Then the next time around, guess what? It leaks in. Gets right in there and burns. And burrrrrns...
BUBB: Mmmm.....
4 comments:
A comment about butt wipes:
A friend of mine is extremely loyal to butt-wipes. He travels with them and refuses to poop when he doesn't have butt-wipes. most places sell them, they're like wet-naps, but designed for the adult ass. For the last year or so, I have always owned a box of butt wipes, and although I am not as devoted a butt wiper as Ryan, I haev come to understand there are certain situations where a butt-wipe is exactly what you need. Perhaps you are in one of these situations.
That's just what I need. Or a baday. I know some europpeans who are disgusted that we just wipe our shit around with tissue rather than washing it off.
Yeah, especially gross for guys, except for hairless gay guys, who take one step forward and two steps back when it comes to making their butts grosser than they should be.
i guarantee its the red wine. i once shat myself in a movie theater in topeka kansas due to the previous night's red wine. same thing happened at a condo in carmel, indiana. and then i had to drive home.
you might be allergic, dude.
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