14ers

I set out early thursday in search of 14ers. My friend Ted had taken the week off from work, scouted out spots and promised he had everything we needed. To understand the adventure fully, it helps to know Ted. First by saying he had everything we needed, he was correct, although he forgot to pack several critical elements, such as sleeping bag, tent, headlamps, food, etc. He's a full-blown alcoholic, smokes upwards of a quarter a week, and has little or no interest in any sort of "Natural High," including girls or proper dog maintenance. I've always seen him as a lost soul, and assumed that the replacement of pabst with heavy hiking might help him face the truths, or at least be mentally present for some of my patented timeless wisdom.

So at about the time he showed up an hour and a half late without anywhere near proper equipment, we gave up on any 14ers for thursday. We did find the trailhead for Mt. Bierstadt, and then got horribly lost in the woods. Ted had taken down most of a 12 pack of pabsts, countless bowls, and neither of us had any sort of bearings on direction. After about 2 hours, with the sun setting, we found a ribbon tied to a tree that said "Escape Route" Well I suppose that's a good sign, we said, until the path made a huge arc and seemed to be taking us farther from where we wanted to be. We abandoned "Escape Route" partyl because of it's haphazard guidance and partly because there were none of these ribbons anywhere near where we wanted to be. After another hour and the loss of a lot of morale and hope, we were once again on the "Escape Route" and eventually found a road that we had driven up.

We woke up at 9, on the trail at 11 and drinking a Bierstadt beer (pabsts) by 1:30. Then the hail and lightning came and we scrambled down no problem. We then savored some ribs, wings, and other assorted spiced meats in Georgetown, and set up camp on the base of Mt. Gray. Ted opened up a little, saying he drinks and smokes so much to cope with things. His divorce, minimal social life, insomnia, dyslexia, etc. I replied that escaping is the worst way of coping, and it didn't seem to me that chugging vodka at 10am before hiking a 14er helped with much of anything at all. He agreed.

Today we woke up at 9. It was a clear sky when we started, so I wore shorts and a "Life is Good" T-shirt. We were on the trail by 11 and savoring the view from the top of mt. gray (the biggest Mountain on the continental divide) by 1:30. Savoring might not be the proper word though, because despite am incredible view of probably 100 miles in nearly every direction, all we were really looking at was Mt. Torreys, another 14er about a mile away, with a very steep climb up what turned out to be the east face the my limiited research told me not to climb. After considerable coaxing and arguing about the relative danger of the huge clouds rolling in around us, we were at the top of Torreys about an hour later. I insisted we smoke a bowl despite the increasing hail, and we had to take shelter behind a pile of rocks as the hail quickly and dramatically increased in size and quantity. High of 1 hit, we started down. It hailed heavy the whole damn way. Cold and soaked, it took about 2 hours down. We encounted hail, sleet, light rain, heavy rain, i think every consistency of H20 splattered me for at least 20 minutes each. Then dry clothes, a big dinner at the TommyKnocker Brewery and a long bath later, here's what I've learned:

-Exhaustion can cure most things. A bad mood, heavy questions, Ted's hangover, writer's block, just fucking go until you can't anymore.
-GU, although disgusting, works quite well for energy.
-A good barometer of how well (or at least adventurously) you're living is how many showers you've truly savored.
-Easy 14ers aren't that hard. Or easy.
-A common first step in doung something interesting is deciding that you want to do something interesting, and coming up with a few ideas.
-Pooing outside: IF you prefer interest over ease as I do, I suppose pooing outside should be done until no longer interesting.
-They say Buddhist enlightenment can only be achieved through a desire to help others (life is suffering, inner peace is the answer, you can't teach it if you don't have it). But enlightenment also guarantees freedom in future lives from this world of suffering. Seems kinda strange that it can only be achived through wanting to help others, but then immediately frees the enlightened from the only realm where they can help.
-I'm not as young as I used to be. But I'm younger than I'll ever be again.
-I want to do a long-term hike soon, but this is not fishing for an invitation to the september journey.
-I want to be remembered as soaked with sleet, wearing a Life Is Good shirt, and laughing down a mountain, screaming to pancho clad expressionless hikers that we're being fired upon.
-Pictures help with sharing, but writing helps just as much in solidifying the memory.
-It's about progress, not perfection.