filth out of context

You smell that Haley? That's the smell of me wrapping my penis in desiccates so that all of the jergens lotion that your ex girlfriend applies every night gets sucked out of my cock and it enters your ass as unlubricated as possible. That's the smell of an impending stretching.

Rivalry week has begun, and your ass is prime for a stretching.

You've had a couple of weeks that could be considered respectable, Greg Oden has managed to stave off osteoporosis for another 2 months, and your ridiculed keepers are performing admirably. i'm sure all of this has your asshole puckered with joy and optimism. i intend to destroy that pucker with a nation of islam IFD (improvised fucking device).

i noticed you have added a certied african to your team. do you think that infusion of blackness will make up for the raw stretching ability of my rookies JR smith and Hakim warrick? I thought not. do you have any idea what these men will do to marco belinelli?

my team of stretchers will break through your rectum like TJ Duckett going through lahser high school's defensive line on third and goal, and do a choreographed victory dance in the end zone that is your bloody, tattered ass hole. you will have beef curtain tan lines on the back of your thighs for the rest of your life. marshawn lynch will drive his porsche over the remains of your asshole and not realize he hit anything because there will be nothing left.

next year an astronomer will win the nobel prize for his discovery of a "white hole", which like a black hole is so wide and gaping that it sucks in matter, but unlike a black hole, this white hole seems to discriminate, and only sucks in over sized cocks and over hyped rookie basketball players.

After a week of base jumping in your brown canyon, i will be able to stick a 1 eyed midget clown in there and he will juggle your spleen and intestines. This will be the extent of your stretching.