Mad Libs

I recently went on a trip to a 10th mountain division hut near Basalt. We spent 2 nights there, and brought 2 full sized honey baked hams and about 8 bottles of liquor, despite the 7 mile hike in through deep snow. What follows is an account of the journey that Jeremey and I wrote for the guest book in Mad Libs style, which was then filled in by the group.


13 (headlamps) and a Hut…

• It all began on (4-20-80). 13 friends realized that the best (balls) in life are (stews) and (fucking) with friends, so we booked a hut. The time finally came, and we felt (yellow) and full of (lust).

• The night before, we (exquisitely) packed our bags with plenty of (snow-boots) and (steamy) (ham). We had trouble (pooping) because we were too (pusillanimous)! So we spent the night (masturbating) each other…

• The next morning was as cold as a (giraffe)'s (armpit) so we wrapped ourselves in (ham-bones), but once we started we were sweating like (Justin Timberlake), so we stripped off our (shanks). Once we finally got going, the scenery was so (brownish) that (Mike) (washed). It was tough going and we soon learned who was (hearty) and who was (necessary). After only an hour, (Kelly) (drank). Fortunately, we had Jeremyah, the human (lynx) who was (taking) like a (shitty) (card), and that helped us out a lot. (Rob) and (Bert) spent the hike thinking about (exhaustedly) (stabbing) everything in sight! Whenever we took a break from (pursuing), we felt (krusty). Night came fast like a (gerbil) on crack, and we were so exhausted that we were hallucinating (critters) and (ferret) calls. We finally got to the (tight) hut, which was sweeter than (chafing) a (blister).

• Inside, there was plenty of (sphincter) and enough (o-rings) to (simmer) for the entire winter. After we took off our (nasty) clothes, we warmed ourselves by (blowing) by the (vaginal insert). Soon the table was full of (snowballs) and we ate (sled) and drank (wodka) for hours. Six hours of (stunning) was fueled by (sunny) ham. Everything was (cloudy) until (Jeremyah) (burned) on the (lip), and decided that it was time for bed.

• Saturday afternoon, we spent 4 (chunky) hours (flatulating) through snow, and riding (wood piles) off a (blubbery) jump. We also through lots of (cock-rings) at each other, burying (Ted) and injuring Ben’s (pinky-toe). We (sensuously) ate more ham, cooked (ham stew), and played lots of (ham uno). After the meal, (midgets) were a hot commodity. Fortunately, we had plenty of (beef curtain) wipes and (snow flakes)…

• We must say goodbye now, because tomorrow we have to (stifle) the (Harry Gates Hut).

Hastily,
The Ham Fam