Thoughts

Professional athletes should wear glasses with little mirrors on the sides so that they can see behind them. I bet a guy like Chris Paul or Amare Stoudemire could eventually dominate people with a smooth behind the back glass pass.

As gay as twittering is, it’s pretty cool that I could twitter that to Amar’e and he’d probably read it. Assuming I’d be willing to sign up for a twitter account that is.

Next time I have a big house party, I'm going to get a light-bright and put it out where people can play with it. Because hey man, lightbrights are great.

You'd think there’d be more skate wounds in hockey. If someone came to me with an idea for a sport where huge men race around on a little box of ice at 30 mph with knives on their feet, I’d expect more slash wounds than a cook-off between rival Mexican street gangs.

When I buy a house, I'm going to make one of these in my yard. It will take a while to grow, but when it gets there, oooh baby.

If I could have any pet, I would get a Lama. It would carry my backpack and I would train it to spit at my enemies.

It probably won't be long before gatorade invents snortable electrolytes. They will need to keep in mind that flavors that are pleasing to the mouth are not necessarily pleasing to the nose.

My body should understand that blisters are not a good solution to have uncomfortable soccer shoes. No skin-bubble is going to make those shoes fit me any better, you've tried that, move on.