The Stuggles Report

7-29-06

2 days ago a crazed brooklyn man tried to start a fight with me because my dog had lifted his leg on a church. When he told me that it was very disrespectful for my dog to do so I replied "Well god made dogs too." While this seemed perfectly logical to me, it only managed to exacerbate the situation.

The shifty character who was accompanied by an equally irked female lifeform replied that I should "curb my dog." I still don't understand what that means and I said, "I don't know what that means." The irked female lifeform proceeded to grumble some more nonsensical jibberish and I lost interest in the conversation.

As I walked away from the situation I turned my back to the couple and gave them a spirited thumbs up. To my surprise the confrontation turned even more sour as the surly male lifeform proceeded to chase after me while cursing for what he perceived to be an extension of my middle finger.

Well, this simply was not true and I managed to calmly explain that I had given him a thumbs up. To which he said, "You BETTER have given me the thumbs up!" Baffled, I remarked "Hey guy I just said I gave you the thumbs up, jesus!"


In other news, I am very upset with my mailman. This may just be a hazard of the job or maybe its part of the job description, but he is just way too ambivalent.

The world of fashion:
Sleeveless shirts are very popular in New York right now. I was recently at a Cubs game when they played the Mets at Shea Stadium . After the game ended and the Cubs had won, a male lifeform in sleeveless attire began taunting me because his beloved Mets were still in first place despite the loss to my Cubs, who, he duely noted were in last place. He ended with a generous "The Cubs suck!" I simply replied, "You sir are right on all accounts, but my shirt has sleeves and yours doesn't."

Also in the world of fashion, after sustaining a sandal blowout at the previously mentioned Cubs/Mets game, it became necessary to replenish my flip-flop supply. I am now the proud owner of a pair of Reef flip-flops that are equipped with not one, but two bottle openers.
Kick ass!

The world of science:
I have become very interested in the field of string theory. Thats all I have to say about that.

The world of travel:
I will be traveling the world again for my quarterly trip to Colorado in September. Dates are forthcoming but they will be in the realm of Labor Day weekend and beyond. Plan accordingly.

The world of music:
The following is this the lineup for Jazz Aspen: Friday, September 1LeAnn Rimes 8pmSusan Tedeschi 6pm
Saturday, September 2Kanye West 6:30pmRobert Randolph & the Family Band 4:15pmRaul Midon 2pm
Sunday, September 3John Mellencamp 6:30pmLos Lonely Boys 4:15pmDel Castillo 2pm
Monday, September 4Matisyahu 6:30pmKeller Williams 4:15pmPolyphonic Spree 2pm

All can say are two things:
1) What the fuck?
2)Where exactly is the jazz in this fest?

The world of random:
Orange is the new yellow.
Scotch is the new whiskey(for me anyway).
Two poops a day is the new one.

The Cobb sandwhich at a restaurant I can't remember is the best I've ever had.

I just learned there is such a thing as a 4,000 ton banana boat.