High Priorites

(editor's note: this is a long rambling post. Ifelt like writing something, decided on priorities and it just unwinded. It's not particularly entertaining, but damnit, someone's gotta write some shit.)

I think anyone with enough free time and capacity for thought, which includes probably every member to this blog, occasionally question and reevaluate their priorities.

Many of you have probably heard similar rants from me, but for those of you who haven't, here's my personal background, which I think has actually seen the light of this blog.

0-18: Figuring It Out/Playing. These are always the basic priorities I tihnk, even beyond this time-frame, but here they're simplified and focused by seemingly unquenchable thirsts and endless lessons. We play with our recent discoveries. First motor skills. movement, talking; hours of fun. Then identity; "look mom, i have a fully formed, unique opinion. Then sex; "man, i gotta relearn how to talk to girls, because that sex stuff sounds like something I could get pretty into."

I think this is pretty universal. The struggle with the lessons, and enjoyment of the play varies greatly, but I think that's pretty much the universal priorities of youth.

So then we find a shortage of new lessons and toys. The ideal priority, I think, at this point is to decide what your future should look like. You should look within and decide how much money matters to you, and accordingly then which high-paying job is most tolerable, or if money is not the most important thing, what is, and which job lends itself to that priority.

So the most important thing? What indeed. If you don't face the decision, I think you default into choosing comfort. Even those who are born-strivers, (ex. Bill) are motivated somewhat by comfort, but their comfort require a massive exertion and effort.

I had chosen comfort up until one specific day at the end of my freshman year of University. I had a great year; weed, video games, cptn morgans. So it's the end of the year and we decide to have a reflection session. We'll get high and talk about the year in retrospective, reliving all the highlights. So we start it off, the roadtrip to hash-bash, the first trip to a bar with a fake ID ("this is the 5th fake maryland i've seen tonight. go on in") About 5 minutes in, we were out of memories. I had a vivid memory from my encounter with jail and LSD, and even by the end of this reflection session, I had decided it was my favorite memory, my most prized accomplishment, my highlight of the year. My highest priority changed from comfort to adventure.

Adventure reigned for 2 years. If you've never done it before, it's worth doing. The greatest art form is a life well lived. Take a risk, make it sweet. The train story. The bar-jump. Mescaline. Ketamine. Mushrooms. The stadium break-in. The Prague adventure. The car-tip. 2 riots. The driving range at midnight. Sleeping in a canoe in Venice. The great heist.

The phase of adventure culminanted and ended with the great heist. Most of you may not know this story, and probably for good reason, but suffice to say, adventure cannot stay as a day-to-day highest priority. You run out of things to do for the first time, you don't appreciate unmemorable joys like sex in a bed. You get desperate. The risks get too big.

So the strongest depression of my life followed this realization. I had abandoned comfort, been burned by adventure, and didnt know what was next. Fortunately at this time, I met the only person I could ever describe as enlightened. Among other lessons (which I'd be galad to share if there's interest) he taught that the Maslow perspective on the meaning of life is growth. Growth is the highest priority one can achieve, and I say achieve because it's not easy to get to, only 1% make it, the rest get hung up on one of the rings in the hierarchy: Physiolical Needs(air, water, food sleep. Safety(physical and mental). Social Needs(belongingness, love). Esteem Needs(respect, achievemnet, recognition).

So that, at least in theory, became the new Highest Priority. (In addition to figuring out what to do for a living, which I recently realized was the biggest decision we make in our lives. Without a devotion to a beloved calling, you won't achieve growth. I envisioned meeting the girl of my dreams, and molded myself to be that man of her dreams. Well-read, modest, working on a masterpiece, into spirituality, etc. These did come from me, in that my dream girl would respect them, but I now realize that growing for the primary benefit of someone else isn't really the answer.

The key to life, according to me, is to grow for yourself. There are things in life that provide for a higher happiness, but you won't find them in the social or recognition categories.

My favorite example of this is Compassion. If we go through life with pure love for every person we come across, we'll be constantly happy and constantly improving the world. If you believe in spirituality, see the God in them, if we're just a combination of nature and nurture, so are they, they're not their fault, if you believe life is just a big challenge, respect that they too are just trying to get by.

Inner Peace is another. Learning to enjoy smells and food more is another. Learning to enjoy the struggles. etc. etc.

As an advertiserand salesman, I've been trained to conclude with a call to action, so here it is. Always question what matters most to you in life, and live accordingly. We evolved to focus on challenges instead of appreciating victories, so at least choose your challenges.