nawlins

i have returned from the new orleans jazz festival, and have verbal highlights for your reading enjoyment. here we go

bands i saw: soulive, jurassic5, karl denson, isaac hayes, toots & the maytals, spearhead, steel pulse, trey, ike turner, los lonely boys, anthony hamilton...all awesome, download if you aint on it...especially the first 7.

-met the Meters, they signed my paper, there were unimpressed with my funkiness, which wavered between a meager 6 and 8 over the week.

-my funkiness reached its peak during the Isaac Hayes set, when i spotted a beautiful woman put my arms around her and gave her some deep-voice, "i wanna make sweetlove to you down by the fire" style pimpin. download "i stand accused" and you'll understand.

-i think ike turner made a reference to some good wife-beatin, but it was a bit of a stretch. "and then i showed her what the blues were all about." one can only imagine...

-food. po-boys are tasty, although i would advise you to avoid the fried sausage po-boy and then get on a plane. i'd also advise you to avoid dave's insanity sauce.

-also on food...split a massive big fried seafood platter with judd, who incidentally beat me badly in the college poo-tally, and were percolating butt-coffee before we even left the restaurant. the ass-vomit poos are way more fun when you have a friend in the next stall yelling "3-2-1-BLAST OFF" before you let it fly.

-drank all kinds of sugary spring break type drinks the first night, and then licked a waitress because she "wouldn't leave me alone"

-isaac played the chocolate salty balls song.

-the fire/water fountain. how can a water fountain be on fire? i don't know, but drinking a whole lot didnt help me figure it out.

-absinthe is trouble, even american absinthe which lacks the sweet (read: nasty but psychadelic) thugon.

so there you have it. respect to new orleans, my favorite city in the world for food and music. now is when i propose a cousin trek to jazz fest next year.....proposed.