Clearly I love some movies that the cuzzins hate. But do I hate movies that the cuzzins love? Let’s see…
Some movies I really hate, off the top of my head:
Armageddon
Planet of the Apes (new version)
Cruel Intentions
Bridget Jones’ Diary
Patch Adams
Instinct
Roadhouse (not!)
Fracture
Fahrenheit 9/11
Anything involving Dane Cooke in any capacity whatsoever (ditto Matthew Lillard)
Nacho Libre
Fantastic Four
Some recent movies that I found really disappointing:
Apocalypto
Crash
Blood Diamond
Shrek
Super Troopers
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Next Friday I head for San Diego. I will stay in a hostel and, perhaps, be burned to death by the California fires. Pray for me. Pray for Mojo.
After some thought, I've decided that my favorite movie in the last while has got to be Children of Men.
Adobe Illustrator kicks ass.
So do the BoSox. Eat it Denver.
After some thought, I've decided that my favorite movie in the last while has got to be Children of Men.
Adobe Illustrator kicks ass.
So do the BoSox. Eat it Denver.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
The Awesome Power of Clams
For those of you you who need to throw up RIGHT NOW comes the miracle invention that will change the drinking world as we know it. In a breakthrough concept, Budweiser has combined the awesome power of Clamato with a beer once thought to be at its peak. Lets look at the timeline that led to this amazing creation.
2nd day of Creation: God invents water (key ingredient in Budweiser)
3rd day of Creation: God invents tomatoes as well as malts, hops, sugar, etc.
1876: Budweiser Lager Beer is born as the brainchild of Adolphus Busch and Eberhard Anheuser
1969: Walter Chell thinks to himself "You know what would make tomato juice better......mashed clams." Clamato is born.
2007: Anheuser-Busch combines Budweiser and Clamato for the super drink now known as Chelada.
2008: Greenhouse gases produced from Chelada vomit destroys the ozone. Life on this planet ceases to exist.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Cousin Sighting
I saw a cousin last night, and thought I'd share:
I was driving, Kyle was riding shotgun, and Matt was in the backseat. He had a laptop case with weed in it. As we pulled into a parking lot, our cat slid through the open window and escaped. Someone had left a holigram running in the parking lot, and Matt didn't realize it was fake. It was a woman dressed as a nurse and she was asking Matt what he thought about this kitty (motioning toward a holigram cat rubbing up against her leg). I can't see her front but I know she's a kitty porn video, and I'm laughing at the look on Matt's face cuz he still doesn't know its fake. Then I'm gripped with horror at the thought of there being kitty porn people nearby while our cat is missing.
The dream also included a hotel that could blast into outer space like a rocket, a suggestion from our friends that we meet up in Jersey for a wedding even though none of us have anything to do with "Jersey", Owen Wilson as a lifeguard at the pool I belong to (which is in an occupied zone, or maybe a green zone right near battle lines, I could watch bombs and planes and then go swimming), a bat belonging to Owen which I found laying in a bell, exhausted and perhaps wearing shorts, and which I returned to him, and a clarification of the term "Morty" as in "Show it to Morty and he'll show it to God."
I was driving, Kyle was riding shotgun, and Matt was in the backseat. He had a laptop case with weed in it. As we pulled into a parking lot, our cat slid through the open window and escaped. Someone had left a holigram running in the parking lot, and Matt didn't realize it was fake. It was a woman dressed as a nurse and she was asking Matt what he thought about this kitty (motioning toward a holigram cat rubbing up against her leg). I can't see her front but I know she's a kitty porn video, and I'm laughing at the look on Matt's face cuz he still doesn't know its fake. Then I'm gripped with horror at the thought of there being kitty porn people nearby while our cat is missing.
The dream also included a hotel that could blast into outer space like a rocket, a suggestion from our friends that we meet up in Jersey for a wedding even though none of us have anything to do with "Jersey", Owen Wilson as a lifeguard at the pool I belong to (which is in an occupied zone, or maybe a green zone right near battle lines, I could watch bombs and planes and then go swimming), a bat belonging to Owen which I found laying in a bell, exhausted and perhaps wearing shorts, and which I returned to him, and a clarification of the term "Morty" as in "Show it to Morty and he'll show it to God."
Friday, October 12, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Call that a depressing Personal Profile?
Underweight yet flabby MWM with terribly itchy eyes seeks like-minded MWM to commiserate over total lack of time to do anything but clean up after messy babies and do laundry once in awhile. No fatties.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Personal profile
SWM. Overweight. currently in the middle of midterms right now. Per Rubb's request has been listening to a ton of Toots on Pandora. Recommends RJD2 station for some chillout study music. Recommends repeating in mantra: there is no limit to how much information I can put in my brain. Best studying gets done when he goes to the library stacks where all of the old books are, he finds it inspiring. For those of you who care, is currently enjoying a cocktail of an anti-parasite medication, an anti-biotic medication, a pro-biotic medication to enhance naturally occurring bacteria, and Prilosec for stomach acid. All-in-all he still prefers gin. Believes Millennium Cousin award should go to Deekyle for their Youtube webpages, modern building pictures, and thousands of other electronic-savy contributions.
Rubb, I accidently left both of the Peru maps at your house. Do you have them? Can I have one? I will listen to your previously posted music selections.
Rubb, I accidently left both of the Peru maps at your house. Do you have them? Can I have one? I will listen to your previously posted music selections.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
happy birthday sean, etc.
today we celebrate the one year anniversary of sean becoming a person and dee having probably one of the stranger birthdays of her life. happy birthday sean and dee and almost kyle.
www.flickr.com/photos/seanmsmith
Saturday, September 29, 2007
true story
the year was 2003. i was probably high. our chinese food had arrived with a small chinese food box full of awful pastries. The word COMPLIMENTARY was written on it in large letters. we had been having very minor problems with our neighbors, mainly them just banging on our wall when the music was too loud. there was only one logical solution.
so i pooped in the box. climbed up their wall and put the box full of pastries and poop on their balcony.
one member of this blog has the necessary skilles to repeat this experiment. climbing skills, neighbor problems, and experience pooping in a box.
that is all
so i pooped in the box. climbed up their wall and put the box full of pastries and poop on their balcony.
one member of this blog has the necessary skilles to repeat this experiment. climbing skills, neighbor problems, and experience pooping in a box.
that is all
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Moving beyond the previous post
If one were paying attention to the news lately one would notice that the media is reporting on an armed gunman running around Madison threatening to kill. This is, again, an example of there being nothing else to report on in Heartland, USA, and the media blowing it out of proportion. A depressed kid called a suicide helpline and threatened to kill himself this somehow turned into a Virginia tech-esque madman.
In other news my stomach is fucked up. It has been since Peru. I am constantly talking to doctors. All that we have come up with so far is that I can't drink alcohol, drink coffee, or eat anything that is not sawdust. For those of you who didn't know my habits before, they were as follows: binge on whiskey, binge on coffee, then over-eat Mexican food. This new diet strays from my intuition. I was fortunate enough, however, to take a chit in a large plastic container and spoon it into four tiny little vials. The procedure goes against everything that you have learned since you were an infant: Don't play in your own chit! Bryan would have puked just chiting into the larger cup.
My apartment is awesome. I put together a rocking chair, stained it, sanded an end-table, and stained it. There is something incredibly mind numbing about doing minor woodworking. I highly recommend it. Two other stress relieving techniques that I have found are listening to Milt Rosenberg of WGN radio and Pandora Radio while I shower. If you haven't tried Pandora you should now. Fall is coming!
In other news my stomach is fucked up. It has been since Peru. I am constantly talking to doctors. All that we have come up with so far is that I can't drink alcohol, drink coffee, or eat anything that is not sawdust. For those of you who didn't know my habits before, they were as follows: binge on whiskey, binge on coffee, then over-eat Mexican food. This new diet strays from my intuition. I was fortunate enough, however, to take a chit in a large plastic container and spoon it into four tiny little vials. The procedure goes against everything that you have learned since you were an infant: Don't play in your own chit! Bryan would have puked just chiting into the larger cup.
My apartment is awesome. I put together a rocking chair, stained it, sanded an end-table, and stained it. There is something incredibly mind numbing about doing minor woodworking. I highly recommend it. Two other stress relieving techniques that I have found are listening to Milt Rosenberg of WGN radio and Pandora Radio while I shower. If you haven't tried Pandora you should now. Fall is coming!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Bits of Kyle
About a month ago our car was broken into while it was parked at the Detroit airport, just days before our move out to Boston. My CD collection was swiped, and the thieves were nice enough to scrape and bend the door and window frame before busting out the window. A nice Detroit-style “good bye” for us.
Ok all of you architecture junkies, what do you think of this building? I walk past it each day. I have mixed thoughts. Mostly “Bitchin!”, but also a little “Wahhh?”, and occasionally "Hmm, I'm strangely aroused."
We live next door to the most popular sandwich shop in Arlington, MA. The sandwiches are delicious and so is the convenience. It’s trouble.
My favorite new food is a whoopie pie. It treats me well.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
BLOG SAVES BOY, BOY NO LONGER TALKS TO HIMSELF
Like a lunch-less portly fellow reaches for puddin'...
Like an AIDS patient scratching his splotchy skin...
I reach for the blog!
Viva el Tequila!
Like an AIDS patient scratching his splotchy skin...
I reach for the blog!
Viva el Tequila!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Blog Salvation
First off, I'd like to congratulate Dee for her new job in her new city. I'd also like to offer congrats to Rob and Jake for taking the next step in their respective educational pursuits. Also to Kate for entering into her final year of school at DU and Molly for being the last cousin in high school. You guys are all smarter than I. Kyle I have no idea what you're doing but kudos for whatever it is, whoever you are. Maggie is also doing something very cool but I don't know if I'm supposed to tell anyone yet although Bryan knows so I'm sure everyone else does.
Anyway, the point of this post is that the blog is in miserable shape and I'm vowing to do my part to rescue it. I'm going to employ a three part plan:
Part 1: Begin with a new blog name to be unveiled later this week.
Part 2: Recruit as many cousins back to the blog with.......
Part 3: .....the promise of a very clever, possibly hilarious post.
So to anyone who may possibly still be reading this, the blog is back on and even if I have to do every post myself it will survive. It has to!
PS- Just so I don't get shit for omitting anyone. Congrats to Bryan and Adam for setting their respective wedding dates and securing future cousin parties. Yay to Jeremy for continuing to keep it real, assuming you still are. And a shout out to Kerry and Ryan for being fellow pot smoking parents.
Anyway, the point of this post is that the blog is in miserable shape and I'm vowing to do my part to rescue it. I'm going to employ a three part plan:
Part 1: Begin with a new blog name to be unveiled later this week.
Part 2: Recruit as many cousins back to the blog with.......
Part 3: .....the promise of a very clever, possibly hilarious post.
So to anyone who may possibly still be reading this, the blog is back on and even if I have to do every post myself it will survive. It has to!
PS- Just so I don't get shit for omitting anyone. Congrats to Bryan and Adam for setting their respective wedding dates and securing future cousin parties. Yay to Jeremy for continuing to keep it real, assuming you still are. And a shout out to Kerry and Ryan for being fellow pot smoking parents.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
I GOT A JOB!!!!
I wasn't going to apply for anything until next semester, but an opening came up at Boston University and I gave it a shot, so...I got a job! If the blog weren't in such disrepair, this might not be worth a post, but tough shit, you get to hear about how I got a job!!!!
This be the place: http://www.bu.edu/celop/
I'm gettin $60 an hour to teach a language I've spoken my whole life. Fuck yeah. This is why I don't moan about paying taxes.
On my way to campus I sat next to a guy who just got back from Iraq (Rimaldi) that day, still in his uniform and carrying his duffel bag. He was a Navy SEAL, and pretty high up in the ranks. He just had to talk - HAD TO - about all the weird shit he was going through, and all I could think about was that scene from the beginning of Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen goes nuts in the hotel room until he sees some blood. He was itching to get back already; I felt bad for him. My cousin's boyfriend is also back for a few weeks, but he's only been there since March and seemed much more well-adjusted. Hopefully his deployment won't last too much longer.
This be the place: http://www.bu.edu/celop/
I'm gettin $60 an hour to teach a language I've spoken my whole life. Fuck yeah. This is why I don't moan about paying taxes.
On my way to campus I sat next to a guy who just got back from Iraq (Rimaldi) that day, still in his uniform and carrying his duffel bag. He was a Navy SEAL, and pretty high up in the ranks. He just had to talk - HAD TO - about all the weird shit he was going through, and all I could think about was that scene from the beginning of Apocalypse Now where Martin Sheen goes nuts in the hotel room until he sees some blood. He was itching to get back already; I felt bad for him. My cousin's boyfriend is also back for a few weeks, but he's only been there since March and seemed much more well-adjusted. Hopefully his deployment won't last too much longer.
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