Down with Fraggle Rock

Kate's baby mouse. Sprocket the dog from Fraggle Rock. A beer that I found in a Polish grocery store(tastes exactly as advertised). And my dope new ride, The Apollo 3 Speed. Hell yeah!

Utah Journey Part Dos

Ladders, super cairn, crack chillin, fun with uno, rob in a hole, hole n' the rock(doesn't actually exist).

Utah Journey

Basically the Utah story is thus: We walked and saw cool shit. The pictures tell the story, and don't really need captions.











Perhaps a few fragments: Matt was very excited about footbaths and ladders. Kate won the care-free camper award. About 20 points were awarded for things like lizard seeing, enjoying it, getting high at lunch, footprint tracking, and uno. There was an extremely disheveled hiker. We made an ultimate cairn. We made an illegal fire, ate mushrooms, and dreaded the phone call, "hello, matt? This is Utah. What the hell" Matt is greedy about starts and weird about whiskey, according to kate. Live dirt. The chemistry of freeze-dried beer. "that's where the sand-people park their dinosaur."

Crazy Brooklyn guy ranting about Starbucks....pretty funny.

Right back atchya

Hair you go

Hairy baby picture. Now I seem to recall something about some tits.

Aiden?

Tit for tat:
Here's a picture from the shower...



Now I want to see some hairy baby.
Uncle Crafty, perhaps...?

"I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!"

Just one of the many gems awaiting you in the upcoming Samual Jackson thriller, Snakes On
A Plane.

Poetry?

Slam poetry is a recent fascination of mine. There is a place to see stand-up poetry for free in every one of your towns, probably multiple times a week. It's highly recommended, you hear some incredible shit, and this is not coming from someone who spends their time reading Ginsberg or could confidently tell you what Iambic Pentameter is. SO I got a little into it ("..just tryin to find something real in this world" -outkast), and decided to write my own. It was my first time reading anything personal in front of a crowd, or really taken the stage in life at all. I decided it should be done at the biggest one in Denver, which actually has a stage and a mic. I was rather nervous and my paper was shaking in probably 2 inch oscillations, but that was half the point...

Why I'm Up Here
I'm up here to improve how I make my living. But I don't mean money that I may be given. The greatest art form is a life well lived, and this is a bright red stroke on the piece I'll leave to my kids.

I'm up here because I've put so many balls into goals and holes and pockets that I had to stop it because with each shot hit, I cared less if I dropped it. And lately I feel the thrill of victory every time I write a rhyme that might be the hot shit.

I'm up here because I know one day I'll harvest these emotions and use the fuel to jump start a night. Or a night's sleep. Fuck sheep. I count finished phases of fear and emotional exhaustion when I'm sleep's orphan. Funny that when thought's flow is so deep that sleep won't come cheap, we're told to bring it to the shallows by counting the animal that follows. There's more than one way to rest, and sedation isn't the best. An easy day might be the easy way, but I'm like, I know I'll sleep well tonight.

I'm up here because walking on hot coals strengthens soles.

I'm up here because I've always wanted to penetrate an audience. I want to penetrate life. I want to die knowing that I have sampled every jou on the planet, as a joy connoisseur. I'm married to life and well, this is how I do 'er. And whether this addiction is an affliction or the proper disposition is based on peripheral vision, because we've got to see more than just our mission.

I'm up here nervous and ecstatic because the first time is always the most interesting. I've been waiting for it for so long and I'm doing it. I took some soft ideas and made 'em hard and I'm putting them somewhere they've never been, somewhere human and I'm sweating and awkward and I'm probably doing it wrong, but I'm doing it!...and it feels-...wait..remember to slow down...relax...enjoy it.

I'm up here because everyone has a deep-seeded need to plan their seed. And there's no more fertile soil than a room full of people who have discontinued their daily dosage of idea birth control, and were thus freed from distraction's sedation, and have gathered to feed their addiction to propositions.

I'm up here because leaps make you feel alive -- but this time, when I look down I don't see shadows of skis stretched on snow so far below that it could bury that life.

I'm up here as part of my timeless research into natural highs. To report back to my alcohol and smoke soaked subculture that my answer to the question is an empirical blessing of exhaustion and expressing.

I'm up here because I'm seeking a solution to my lack of revolution.

I'm up here because life isn't supposed to be comfortable, and when it starts to blur by and all you hear at night is that "tick....tick...tick", you gotta put your conscous camera somewhere scenic and full your ears with that "click....click..click." And it's scary tests that are picteresque, that's why they call it a shudder.

I'm up here because I love the shivers I got from you givers, so you know what, it's because of you I'm a poet.

What's the deal with

Moab

Saturday's averted phone call to Driver Dave

So Liz says to me, "Would you like to smoke a bowl?" "Why yeah, I would love to to have some marijuana. Thank you." Said I.
But then my neighbor Kareem says, "Look, you don't have any weed in here."
Disappointed, I passed the pipe back and said, "Here you go." Liz was also disappointed.
And then Kareem said, "Why don't you call Driver Dave the delivery guy, here's your phone."
I hate calling people so I decided to look into my other jar just in case.
YAY! We all got stoned!

Awards

So, I've heard that Philip Seymour Hoffman has won 23 awards for Capote this year. I'm all for awarding filmmakers and actors, but this is just plain excessive.

Solution 1: Each person can pick only one award for which they may be considered. If they are confident, they might chose the Oscars. If less so, the Globes. And so on.

Solution 2: Only have one goddamn award ceremony.

Lighter Note

I've been thinking of writing this post for a while, but always decided not to, because I am against time killing. But, it's hours of fun, and too good to be missed.

My Favorite Website

I reccomend you start with this Strong Bad E-mail (use the random.bat)

But perhaps even funnier is the Teen Girl Squad Series

Enjoy

Drink Train

I decided to write this post as I walked home from my car. It as to be titled "drunk train" and was to be a drunken train of thought. The first line was to be, "this post find me wearing a blue leisure suit and a fake afro". I am no lnoger wearging these. But I'm still quite drunk.

So a few of you probably know that my recent lack of posting has been the result of my optimistic world-view being shattered by the death of my best friend. A few more of you met Curtis at the New Years bash, and probably immediately realized that you wre in the presence of someone who was probably too cool for his own good. This was the type of person that would seek out a bottle of maker's mark for several quarter hours and upon finding it, take a knee and pay tribute to hsi grail with a deep-souled chug. Not that this is a perfectly representative curtis moment, but merely the strongest memory I have of him from the night. Unfortunately, these memories are about all thats left of him out here, so there ya go. He really wanted to find that mekers bottle, and whn he did, had a moment of pure, untarnished joy that i haven't know since.

The suit isn't even really mine. It's more Lasse's. Sometimes I feel bad for having obtained it through les that pure means, but I love it so much, and believe that universal utility is a profoud meaning of life, so it's not a horrible thing that the suit passed into somebody's hands who appreciated it, hopefully more.

I've always kind of felt like nothjing bad has ever really happened to me. Sure, I've suffered a bit, but suffering isn't a bad thing, all told. Everything that has hurt,has hurt for a reason. I've learned from it, and in retrospect, found beauty in the pain. I spent a night in jail while on acid, which many would call horrible, but I truly believe was among the best things to 3ever happen to me. I couldn't name a single example of a "bad" thing to happen to me. There was always a plus side, which out-weighed the mere loss of comfort. I'm not sure this is true anymore. It jstu fuckin sucks and that's it. I want to be like "this is alright, I've learned from it, I have more spiritual guidance, I have a stronger sense of the finitude of life, I shall seize the day from now on, I shall be a better person" but it just fuckin sucks. and that's it

I don't know what to do with myself most of the time. Shedding tears is no longer the right idea. Moving on certainly isn't the anser. I jsut wake up and just go through a general suckiness. Then I'll drink and occasionally have a break from it, or rationalize it with written words. Neither is right, neither really helps. It jsut fuckin sucks.

So here I am. I had a fun night with Kate. I wore the leisure suit that always makes me feel cool, and I had a few moments of being one with the music, dancing without self-conscousness, which is rare. I somehow obtained a black afro wig from the floor, and completed the suit thusly. Kate's friends want to have sex with me. awesome.

I don't know. I probably shouldn't even post this, because it's depressing without any goal orientation. But that's me right now, so I'm posting it anyways. Sometimes there's no goal. This is not a cry for help, or the talking cure. It's just a drunk kid writing because he doesnt know what else to do with himself right now.

Sweater hematoma

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha hah hahah ahahahahahh ahhahhha hahahha ha ha hah hah ha ha hahh haha hahahh hahhah ah h hahahhahaha hahah hahahhahahahahah hah hahahahaha hahh ha

HELP!

I am having an awful day. My computer just blew up and with it 3+ years of digital pictures, hundreds of pages of writings, and alot of music. Anywho I have a small favor to ask of you guys. If you have any CDs of pictures that I sent you or digital pictures of your own from any of the following events I would greatly appreciate a copy:

Any of the cuzzin weddings(excluding my own)
Any cuzzin function for that matter
Last summer backpacking trip
Atlanta pics(Bryan)
Green Lake pics(Bryan, jake, maggie, kate)
Basically anything that happened where I was present and pictures were taken or even if I wasn't present and it was really cool.

Let me know if you have any pictures and thanks in advance if you'd be so kind as to send them to me.

Steps

Step 1: Read this article
Step 2: Notice the name Woody Lipps
Step 3: Acknowledge that Woody Lipps is in charge of forrest patrol

Olympricks

I've got to admit that I've been watching the olympics with more enthusiasm than I had anticipated. I'm quite hooked actually. Anyway, I was watching women's individual figure skating tonight(not my favorite, but not altogether bad either) and I was appalled at how critical the judges can be of the performances.

Here's some jackass I've never heard of saying how horrible it is that the Japanese skater missed a 1/4 rotation on a triple lutz and then only followed with a double toe loop. How could she!? The poor girl also barely touched the wall of the rink and they proceeded to butcher this 16yr old girl for not having "olympic maturity." Apparently she didn't have a proper angle on her camel spin either, oh no! How could a girl be so brilliant at times and so sloppy as well, they said. Here's an answer, SHE'S 16! And she's probably really nervous you dick. She made it to the goddamn olympics so she's probably pretty descent.

And then the American girl goes and the same dipshit announcer is astounded how, and I quote, "she had no wibble wobble" in her triple-ann landing. Blah, blah, blah. Its sooo freakin amazing how she just skated her personal best. Bling, blah, bong. And with unbridled enthusiam "They(the American skaters)took all the pressure of the olympics and turned it into a positive force." Yada, yada. Ooh "the fire in her eyes" and "can you believe the musicality of her program?" I'm sorry, did you say musicality? What does that mean? It means YAY America, BOO everyone else.

I think this sucks. And its not just in this sport. Its in every sport short of biathalon and curling which really are too stupid to be in the olmypics anyway. Everyone other than the USA who wins or does well is either lucky or merely adequate while bozos like Bode Miller are world class heroes simply for showing up. BOO! And by the way, are we the only country that obnoxiously chants our own acronym when we win? Or does England yell Great Brit-tain Great Brit-tain everytime they win. How about Eston-i-a Eston-i-a?

I hate Americans.


Just Plain Random
time: 10:43
# of time the word olympics(including this one) was used: 6
# of days William Henry Harrison was president before he died: 37
picking up dog poop in 15 degree weather: warm
Killing the Advertising executive at Master Card: priceless

Who's with me?

www.bluemorphotours.com

I know you are, Mr. Rubb.

In the year 2000

In the year 2000 the elderly will be outfitted with lasers attached to their glasses...why you ask? Only the most ahead-of-its-time-movie-of-all-time Tron will provide insight.

Disney Devo

Check out the DEBUT album from DEV2.0 and more!!! http://disney.go.com/disneyrecords/Song-Albums/devo20

The Conundrum2

I would have liked to title the post "The Conundrum: Solved" but I must admit it has not quite come to that.

I'm alive, which is good.

So here's the story: Our group of 8 was slow to get organized. Leaving Denver after 7, and arriving in Aspen after 1, with bags still to be negotiated and no avalanche beacons due to all the rental places being closed. We were up by 6 the next morning but a few missing gloves and further backpack renegotiations, as well as a mile-long "no-parking" spell kept us off the trail until after 10. After less than a mile on rented Touring skis with cheapo skins, there were further delays for the application of band-aids, walkie-talky fixing, etc. It was slow moving at first, as 5 of 8 hadn't ever ridden on cross-country skis before.



We stopped for lunch at 12:30, after traveling 2 out of 8.5 miles. Then we lost the trail, had to traverse some scetchy climbs and falls and an even sketchier self-made river crossing.



This expended a lot of time and energy, left 2 crew-members with wet shoes, and one crew-member completely submerged in the water, comically flopping around on his back, unable to upright himself due to weight of backpack.

We pushed on even harder, but by the time the sun had set, we had only travel 4.5 out of 8.5 miles, and had, for maybe the 5th time, completely lost the trail and dead-ended into a river.

Exhausted, wet, cold, and lost, we decided to set up camp for the night. It was almost certainly a good call, definitely the safest, as we hadn't even entered the truly dangerous avalanche terrain, and were all completely exhausted and had no sunlight to guide ourselves by.

We stomped down the snow, set up tents, gathered logs (difficult through 6 feet of snow) and made a fire on top of the snow. As time passed, whiskey bottles declined, the temp plunged into the single digits, and the fire sank further and further into the snow, forcing the digging of surrounding seats and leaving us with a very quaint fire-den.




We had another slow morning start, partly due to the fact that all our water and water filters had completely frozen. The trip home was far more enjoyable due to a lack of skins, a downward slope, and the promise of a hickory house only 6 miles from the trail-head. It was extremely scenic out there, and is highly recommended, although it's rumored to be quite crowded in the summer and quite impossible in the winter.



SO yeah, we didn't make it to the hotsprings, but we probably had even more fun drinking in the fire den. Yeah, it was a cold night, but warming and numbing have little effectual difference. Yeah, it might have been a little reckless attempting something like this with nearly every crew-member lacking XC sking or winter camping experience, little knowledge of the trail and area, and no beacons, but it was easily worth the risk, and I plan on attempting it again before leaving this wonderful state.

Eraser baby

Coincidence? I think not

Remember that piece of wood we found in the woods? Well I think you guys need to watch the movie Little Otik and you'll realize that was no ordinary piece of wood. It was actually a carnivorous demon child and we barely escaped with our lives. I watched that movie last night and it scared the shit out of me. Rent it and you'll see.

Kubrick-ian Kyle

And with this, the student surpasses her master.




Am I a bad mommy?

The Conundrum

I'll begin with the menacing attention-getter that this could be my last cousin blog post ever.

ooooh

After much deliberation, I have decided to cross-country ski 10 miles to the Conundrum Hot Springs this weekend. It's just outside of Aspen, and is supposedly rather sketchy in the winter due to avalanche danger. We'll hike 10 miles in saturday morning, set up camp, jump in the hot springs, and reemerge in the roughly 0 degree night with nothing but whiskey and layers of wool to keep us warm. It shall be scenic, dangerous, cold, and the adventure that I've been needing. We're renting avalanche beacons tomorrow. Expect a picture post on monday with the results.

Here's the 2 links I found about it being done in the winter:
http://www.wildsnow.com/articles/first_trip_chastity_belt/backcountry_IX_1_chastity.html
http://www.slackerdom.com/1999/04_cbutte/#comments

Much love to you all

Link

It's not poo, pee or vomit, but it's pretty cool.

http://www.industrial-technology-and-witchcraft.de/movs/roundabout.mov

gross

when you wake up to take a nice morning dump, pick some reading material from your poo-side magazine rack and then realize it is splattered with vomit and even after washing your hands you can't seem to escape the smell

Hello

March 11-19

I have the week of the 11th to the 19th off from school. What is anyone doing around that time? Put in the highest bid and I'll come visit you. All my friends are fairies so I'm all by my lonesome. I'm leaning towards going skiing/pillaging in CO. I've been visualizing about the turns I'm going to make pretty heavily lately so you'd betta watch out. Included is a picture of what happened last time I went to CO... so if you want to be that guy who stands shocked underneath my huge airs write back. I'll be 21 too so gay bars are in! J-Ray-Steezy Print

Preggers

We've got a pregnant Dee!

It will be the first baby to be born on a blog. Don't worry about how that will work; that's my problem.

Matt

Matt! Rage. Melodic Rage. your Id that was expired in 2003 and said that I was 28 failed me last night. I've had it forever. I was so drunk I forgot the birthday I said 3/6/76 instead of 11/4/76 Ive failed you. The only thing that makes it less bitter is the fact that I will be 21 in 17days go figur

Quote of the day

"If this is foreplay, I'm a deadman!"


Kudos if you can guess the actor
A shiny new quarter if you can guess the movie